Engagement announcements, wedding photos, and photos of adorable brand new babies fill my news feeds. I scroll past all these photos on a daily basis and I usually “like” the post and then move on with my scrolling. I mean I’m extremely happy for those Facebook friends who are wanting to forever commit to their significant other at such a young age and those who are welcoming little of bundles of joy into their families. Y’all are incredibly lucky to have found love at such a young age and I support your decisions, even though you probably don’t care about my opinion because it’s not any of my business, to begin with; but, I start to feel stressed if I spend too much time looking at all these pictures trying to figure out why I can’t find a boyfriend, let alone why I’m not engaged yet.
The stress makes me think about what is wrong with me since I’m not checking all the boxes off that everyone else seems to be checking off. After a recent phone call with my mom about all of this, I realized that these boxes are being checked off by the people that are ready to settle down at a young age and I shouldn't worry about how others are living their life because it’s honestly none of my business. Well, after much thought, I have come to realize that I’m not ready to settle down at 20 years old.
I barely can figure out my own life on a day-to-day basis and I personally couldn’t imagine trying to figure out my life alongside of someone else. Life is messy and I need stability (also known as my parents and grandparents) to help me figure out my life plans for the next year, 5 years, 10 years, and so on. Before I’m ready to settle down, I want to have a part of my life figured out because no one needs to be subjected to this beautiful, crazy, and messy life that is mine before then.
I also believe in following your dreams which means that I will follow my dreams and passions anywhere and everywhere. If I were to wake up tomorrow and be offered a dream internship 3,000 miles away or admittance to a year abroad trip, I would take it in a heartbeat and I wouldn’t think twice about it. I’m definitely not ready to put someone else before my dreams which by default means I’m not ready to settle down.
I’m so focused on my education right now and taking the steps to land my dream job one day. Well, undergrad is just one-stepping stone that I need to take on the path that I need to take which means that grad school is in my near future. I’m willing to move across the country to attend my dream grad program and I’m the type of person that puts myself first when it comes to my education. I’m not going to make my choice of school based on someone else because, for me, I need to follow my path wherever it leads me.
I love to go out on the weekends with my friends and have a great time while making memories that will last a lifetime. I don’t want to have to feel like I have to tell someone where I’m going and when I will be home. I’m at the point in my life where I just want to have fun with my friends on a Saturday night instead of worrying about what my boyfriend or fiance at home thinks about me going out.
I need to learn how to be on my own and not have someone to rely on all the time. I haven’t really ever been completely on my own because I lived with my parents for 18 years and my parents still pay for literally everything while I’m in college. I need to learn how to manage bills, work, and adult life on my own before I’m ready to settle down.
I put myself first 99.9% of the time and I'm not ready for this to change. I want to make decisions based on what is best for me without having to analzye what is best for both my boyfriend and I. I want to be selfish right now because I'm young and want to experience everything I can before I settle down.
I know that I’m not ready to settle down at 20 years old even though I feel myself being a little jealous when I see all the cutesy pictures that fill my social media newsfeed. But, I know that when I’m ready to settle down, I can flood my newsfeed with all those cute and cheesy engagement and wedding photos to my heart’s content. Until then, I will be chasing my dreams while living my life choices to the fullest!
