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The "Twelve Days Of Christmas" As Told By A College Student

This ain't no "partridge in a pear tree."

Jessica McDermott

Dec 19, 2016

State University of New York at Old Westbury

282

The "Twelve Days Of Christmas" As Told By A College Student

Anselm

We all know the original "Twelve Days Of Christmas" song. And to be honest, while it's a classic and I can't deny that it's catchy, it's probably my least favorite Christmas song out there. Like, what even is a partridge? Why are the hens French? Is one golden ring not enough, do you really need five? And what exactly are the lords leaping about?

So he is my reworked version of the song, hopefully, more relatable to the college kids out there who are just hanging on, struggling to make it through final's week and get to the holidays.

So here are the 12 days of a college student's Christmas:

On the first gave of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

A nervous breakdown every week.

On the second day of Christmas, this semester gave me to me...

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the third day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the fourth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the fifth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the sixth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the seventh day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the eighth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Eight times I debated switching my major,

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the ninth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Nine shots of tequila,

Eight times I debated switching my major,

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the tenth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Ten extra pounds of fat on my body,

Nine shots of tequila,

Eight times I debated switching my major,

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Eleven annoying BlackBoard assignments,

Ten extra pounds of fat on my body,

Nine shots of tequila,

Eight times I debated switching my major,

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, this semester gave to me...

Twelve times a day when I wanted to drop out,

Eleven annoying BlackBoard assignments,

Ten extra pounds of fat on my body,

Nine shots of tequila,

Eight times I debated switching my major,

Seven late assignments,

Six skipped classes,

Five AM alarm settings,

Four crazy professors,

Three cups of coffee a day,

Two research papers,

and a nervous breakdown every week.

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The "Twelve Days Of Christmas" As Told By A College Student

This ain't no "partridge in a pear tree."

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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