Race- any one of the groups that human beings can be divided into based on shared distinctive physical traits. Ethnicity- a particular ethnic affiliation or group (Merriam Webster Dictionary). I have brown skin, brown eyes, thick black hair and a short nose. This racial category is south indian, and I identify my ethnicity as American- from a multinational country. I’m 2nd generation, meaning my parents were the first in my family to move to America and I lived here my whole life. And over that life, I met a lot of people with a lot of different perspectives. Some of those perspectives boiled my blood, and others made me want to hug them. I’ve received slurs and been stereotyped, but also found out who my real friends are with the way some of the interacted with me. They got to know me as their fellow human being, and only mentioned my race when they were simply curious about the indian culture. They got to know the truth about the stereotypes, and I’m explaining what it’s like to live with those.

Yes, I had more rules at home. My parents are lot more protective because they live somewhere that is really different from where they grew up and everything they’re used to. It isn’t that they don’t trust me, they don’t trust the people that think differently than they do. So I have more rules to follow, and maybe I had less fun under their roof. That doesn’t mean my life is awful.

No, I don’t have an arranged marriage. This is a choice some people make, it’s not my choice to have one nor is there a reason for it to be. I disagree, as I disagree with a lot of aspects of the culture my race is from. I don’t need to agree to be a part of it, I can simply celebrate the parts I agree with.

Yes, I love being away at college for the freedom. It’s the place I can go where I want, when I want, for however long I want and not have to tell anyone anything. Of course I love it but that doesn’t mean I’m obsessed with my studies in that stereotypical way that is so easy to believe. (People of my race are stereotyped to be studious and nothing else.)

No, I don’t ignore your slurs. I hear every one of them you try to say behind my back, and I act like I didn’t know because I don’t want trouble. It hurts, and it’s not fair. Why do I deserve to go through that based solely on the fact I look different?

Yes, growing up was very different for me. I’m here, I survived and I’m loving life. That doesn’t mean I don’t understand your ways at all, I just didn’t live them.

No, I’m not from another planet. I’m your fellow human being. I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like you. It probably sounds idiotic but I have met people who have treated me like I live under a rock and don’t know life works in American ways. I live American ways as well, even if it wasn’t for my whole life or every single part of American life.

Yes, I’ll answer your questions. I love it when someone acknowledges the fact I’m a different race and they want to learn about it. I don’t mind answering genuine questions that come solely from curiosity. Its another thing to grill me about things as if my race is the only thing I have and I can’t be a part the world in a way anyone else is.

No, I can’t go tanning with you. I’ll be your study buddy, I’ll be your midnight snack buddy. I’ll be your best friend. The one thing I can’t be is your tanning buddy due to my already dark skin.