Recently, my boyfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary. I posted a picture of us on Instagram and within a few hours, I had read numerous friends comment, you two are "goals." I laughed to myself thinking, "Goals" is merely an outsider's opinion of this year long relationship."
In the first few months of dating, I specifically remember one of our earlier conversations; that one day we’d hope to parallel other “goals” couples. Half serious, half joking. Couples that traveled the world, were madly in love, had the most “Instagram Worthy” pictures together, etc.
Right around the six month mark, various people started referring to him and I as “goals”. Over the next week or so, there was a lack in conversation regarding those comments. “What made us #relationshipgoals? Is that a compliment?"
Honestly, the truth behind these “goals," isn't always a favorable reality.
Here is how our "goals" began.
We met in the least of serious environments (a.k.a. a known underage college bar, the college in which he was already an alumni and myself not even a student there) #Locationgoals?
He had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, with an unrelenting ex girlfriend, and I had been single and not looking for anything serious. #Rightavailabilitygoals?
He was beginning his second year of his career, not to mention traveling out of town 4 days a week. Myself, taking a year off school to explore different internships. #Perfectstageinlifegoals?
The beginning and less glamorous “goals” included, self -sacrifice, prioritizing time, transforming various behaviors that he/she may not like, best eliminating insecurities, go of past relationships, having and reflecting on arguments, acting as a daily support system, and being happy with the person you have in front of you and reminding yourself of it. Bottom line, everything requires a little work and some things will continue to need work for the entirety of a relationship.
My point is that there is a blurred line between what the definition of real “goals” is, if there is even a definition at all.
But…maybe I do define goals. Maybe goals is, finding your best friend, falling more in love with he/she regularly, having the ability to talk over a endless range of topics, being considered part of the family, enjoying one another’s company, building a future, valuing privacy, embracing vulnerability, watching the other grow and still thinking he/she is the most beautiful person in the room and getting to call them yours.
And if that is “goals," well then I would think there is no greater compliment.
