Lately, I have had mixed feelings. A rainbow of happiness, excitement, adventure, and productiveness. But also a great deal of loneliness, exhaustion and stress. Though it has only been about a week since leaving, there are only a few people that run through my mind all the time — my family. They are the ones that I have been with through thick and thin, and I don't think I could express so much love to anyone in the world besides them.

I also feel extremely surprised. Being that it is the start of my sophomore year, I have done this before. Moving in and saying my freshman goodbyes were so much easier than this year. Although physically saying goodbye is easy, I have felt anxiety towards the separation that stands between us. I don't believe that it is homesickness, however, I want to be with them every single second of every single day. I could be laughing with my group of friends but still wishing that they were here to experience happiness with me.

Coming back home this past summer opened my eyes. I began to realize that my life back home continues even when I am not there. My brother William has now freshly started middle school and my even younger brother Phillip is now in the fourth grade, and it feels as though a lifetime has passed. As I broaden my learning horizons, my little brothers do the same and much more. They are growing taller and getting smarter. They are not the same little guys that I left one year ago, they are my two little men that will do anything for me or my family. My youngest brother can solve a Rubik's cube under 1 minute and the other can build anything imagined from the Lego's that he has. Their imaginations wander constantly and they have the audacity to talk to me about the girls at school and who they want to marry. Although it may sound weird, these two little guys are honestly my best friends.

I don't regret attending school outside the state of Wisconsin. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania has allowed me to experience new things such as diversity and real Italian food. I have met the most amazing people here, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Carlow University has already taught me so much and I am excited to be continuing my education. However, the main thing that I have learned from going to school out of state is that it may be fun, but there is no place like home.

I miss being around the constant flow of unconditional love that my family holds, and I miss coming home to my brothers racing to the door, ready to tell me all about their days. I miss baking brownies and watching Chopped with my family, and I most definitely miss the home cooked meals that my aunt and mom and miraculously conduct. To sum it up, I have many things to do to preoccupy myself throughout the days that I am here. I do enjoy myself and being around my friends. However, I have learned that family is all that you have in the world, and I have learned that through being on my own here in Pittsburgh.

Although I miss all of these things, I have also come to the realization that I am not just away. I am away to find who I am and who I want to be. I am here to learn and mature, and I am here to set an example for my brothers. I know that I will be successful one day, because I am more than determined. This is what college is. College is a place where I am allowed to make mistakes as an adult. It is a place where I am supposed to miss home, because if I could run home every weekend, I would not grow to be my own person. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and at the end of the day, it comforts me to know that I am here to not only to better myself, but so that I can give my family the world.