Growing up, I hated telling people where my parents were from. I hated seeing the recognition dawn on their faces when they realized I was from the Middle East, and therefore something to be feared. I hated being labeled "other" when in reality, my label is "American" despite my appearance.
Growing up, I stopped claiming my heritag. In fact, I rejected it. I told people I was Italian instead, or maybe Greek and sometimes Russian; anything besides Iranian. But when college applications rolled around, I had to specify my ethnicity. I figured I couldn't actually lie on this one, and marked that I was Middle Eastern, despite my misgivings. However, what happened was not more name-calling or judgment, but instead a world of scholarships and opportunities that were now open to me because suddenly, not being white was an advantage rather than a hindrance. I eagerly scooped up all I could for the simple fact of being brown, but even then was met with controversy and disdain.
There's a belief in this country that those who have a different skin color, or are ethnically diverse, shouldn't have more advantages than the white guy sitting next to them. How is it fair that I get a scholarship for the simple fact that I'm of Iranian heritage, when my American friend worked just as hard and she didn't get a scholarship based on her ethnicity? Is this reverse racism?
The answer is no.
Our society is built in such a way that those who are white, or white-passing, start out about 100 meters in front of the starting line. The rest of us ethnically ambiguous folks started about 10 meters behind the starting line, though. We've had to sprint just to catch up to where white people got to start out, and even when we try our hardest, it's very rare that we reach the finish line, when every other white person has already finished and are berating us for lagging behind. But most white people don't even realize they started out 100 meters ahead of the rest of us; why would they? They have never had a reason to look behind them and see just how hard the rest of us have had to work. So when something like the scary phrase "affirmative action" comes along, and suddenly they see ethnically diverse classmates being given a helping hand when they themselves receive so little, they cry foul play and believe the playing field has been rendered uneven.
But what these scholarships and opportunities for ethnic students actually does is LEVEL the playing field. I mean, I DID start out 100 meters behind you, fellow white classmate, are you really going to begrudge me the coach letting me skip ahead 50 meters so I won't be as severely behind as you? Ethnic scholarships are not giving ethnic students an advantage over their white counterparts; they're simply trying to help them reach the finish line that is so out of their reach, considering how far behind they were forced to start.
So when my mom laughingly accuses me of "milking my Iranian heritage," or when my white friend laments the fact that there aren't scholarships for people who look like HER, I'm going to ignore them and keep on scooping up those scholarships for Iranian students because I have suffered and bled and fought for those scholarships. I have earned them.