Dear Cancer Stick,

You’ve ruined me for three years. Three years, of suffering health consequences, anxiety, and deceit. I kept you a secret from my family. They would always wonder why I smelled like you and I would blame you on a friend. I was too afraid of what they would think of you. You would be an unwelcome guest. No one would understand you, because of what you did to me. I would douse my body and car in perfume to cover up your scent. You just kept lingering. I would sneak you around and squeeze you in everywhere I could. You were always in my head, coercing me into going outside to please you. I wouldn’t be able to relax until I inhaled and exhaled the smoke from you into my lungs. You gave me a rush that I’ll never forget and a feeling that sent a chill down my spine.

You made me feel safe.You made all my stress go away. You were like the clingy boyfriend that would always want me to make time for you. You brought me balance, but I missed out on a lot. I was always thinking where I could have you next, I couldn’t go too long without you.I left my house 30 minutes early before any plans, so I could smoke you. You controlled my life. I was chained to you. You never knew I could give you up. You thought we would be forever and have endless memories together. All the memories I have now are me wanting you where ever I was.

Guess what? You were wrong. I broke up with you, I ended our relationship for the better. I realized you were not worth it anymore. You weren’t what I thought you were. I was blind to who you really were, how you were affecting my day to day life, nothing was right about you. You were expensive, you made me do things to get you to come to me. You were toxic in more ways than one. I hope you forget about me. I hope I never look back. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I still think about you from time to time, I would be lying if I said you weren’t on my mind.

Sincerely,

Me

I smoked around 10-25 cigarettes a day. I am no longer a smoker. I repeat the mantra: “Not one more puff, no matter what” to myself over and over again. I have not touched a cigarette in 4 months, 2920 hours. I have almost 1700 cigarettes unsmoked and 21 days of my life saved by quitting.I’ve saved over a thousand dollars. It’s amazing how powerful your mind is. If you don’t think you can do something, just believe in yourself, stop making excuses for yourself. Every day is a new day to do right for yourself, for your body and for your mind. Don't ever pick up a cigarette, because it will control you. I don't want to die, and you shouldn't either. The consequences outweigh the benefits.