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The Top Ten Sexiest B*tches of 2016

Is your dog a sexy b*tch?

Sydney Robinson

Jan 20, 2016

The New School

294

Finally! The official ranking of 2016's sexiest b*tches is here. Forever changing the meaning of "hot dog," each of these b*tches is sexy in her own doggy right. So go on, check out our list of the Top 10 Sexiest B*tches of 2016 and find out... is your dog a sexy b*tch?

10. Weimaraner

This German seductress is known for more than just her sun-kissed good looks and tight, athletic build. Known as "the dog with a human brain", the Weimaraner possesses both smarts and undeniable sexiness.

9. Chihuahua

Don't let her size fool you -- this little mami is one big sassy diva. She is so hot and spicy that her ears even release heat to help keep her body temp regulated!

8. English Bulldog

Those curves! Those big bedroom eyes! The English Bulldog knows she's got that cake, and we're all just trying to cop an invite for some English pudding.

7. Corgi

Her confidence is undeniable and frankly, irresistible. This is one short-legged hottie who has no problem herding up male suitors.

6. French Bulldog

Despite being called a "Frenchie", this petite mademoiselle actually comes from England. A posh mix of Pug, Terrier, and English Bulldog, she is one cheeky pooch who is infamous for respiratory issues and frequent nip slips.

5. Dachshund

Referred to as the "Badger Dog" in Germany ("Dachs" = "badger", and "hund" = "dog" in German) because of her tendency to hunt badgers, the Dachshund is now commonly referred to as the "Wiener Dog."

4. American Eskimo Dog

Once trained to walk on a tightrope, this sexy b*tch now walks down runways in tights.

3. Poodle

I'll let this visual speak for itself. #MissSexy2016

2. Pug

Originally bred to sit on the laps of Chinese emperors, this pole-Pug might just dance on your lap if you toss her a twenty.

1. Golden Retriever

THIS IS ONE SEXY B*TCH! If any dog was going to be a Victoria's Secret Angel, it would be this dog. She belongs in EVERY rap video. She is one hot blonde with a big heart, strong family values, and an affinity for chasing balls. I wish I was a Golden Retriever sometimes. Don't we all?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Top Ten Sexiest B*tches of 2016

Is your dog a sexy b*tch?

10. Weimaraner

9. Chihuahua

8. English Bulldog

7. Corgi

6. French Bulldog

5. Dachshund

4. American Eskimo Dog

3. Poodle

2. Pug

1. Golden Retriever

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#Adulting is hard.

1. Taking care of yourself when you're sick

2. Making a to-do list

3. Planning your activities around the weather

4. Scheduling your own doctor’s appointments

5. Getting your own toilet paper

6. Making food without needing to ask your mom questions

7. Holding your tongue

8. Saving your paycheck (or your tax refund) to pay your bills

9. Balancing your checkbook

10. Going places alone

11. Packing your own lunches

12. Actually eating your vegetables...on purpose

13. Taking a multivitamin

14. Planning a life after graduation

Sometimes bigger isn't always better.

1. If something happens, everyone knows about it

2. Never getting to be invisible

3. Knowing every single thing about every single person in the town

4. New kids are a big deal

5. It’s hard to make new friends

6. On that note ... the dating pool is even smaller!

7. Teachers are weirdly close to their students

8. It forced you to make friends out of school

"I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love"

1. That Time He Tested Out His Flirting Skills and This Happened

2. When He Was Willing to Do Anything to Avoid Confrontation

3. When He Couldn't Handle Awkward, Emotional Situations

4. How He Reacted Whenever His Friends Ignored Him

5. All of the Times He Worried About His Failing Love Life

6. Whenever He Tried to Whip Himself Into Shape

7. How He Handled New People and New Experiences

8. Whenever His Friends Got Annoying, He Was Always the Voice of Reason

9. He Always Knew How to Jam

10. He Finds a Way to Make Any Situation More Fun

No, I can't help you.

1. When a customer wants to return a product, hands you the receipt, where is printed "ALL SALES ARE FINAL" in all caps.

2. Just because you might be having a bad day, and you're in a crappy mood, doesn't make it okay for you to yell at me or be rude to me. I'm a person with feelings, just like you.

3. People refusing to be put on hold when a customer is standing right in front of you. Oh, how I wish I could just hang up on you!

4. Having the same conversations over and over again! To be honest I really don't even want to talk to you right now, or have this fake ass smile on my face!

5. Always having to have a smile on your face. I promise I'm not as happy as I may look!

6. Customers not understanding that sometimes, mistakes happen. I am a human being, we all mess up sometimes!

7. Having the boss from hell, it's their way or the highway! Even though I did my job correctly and efficiently, if I don't do it the exact way you do, I'm a piece of shit.

8. Having coworker who don't help out, who bend the rules just enough to screw you over.

9. Having to be at work after closing because a customer is taking forever and half! Not like I'd like to go home or anything!

10. Having shitty hours and more shifts than you asked for. Just because we don't have enough workers, doesn't mean I want to pick up every shift that you cant cover, oh great boss of mine!

11. Not having time for a social life. It gets old saying, "I can't I have work..." Every day of the week!

12. Having that lazy costumer who can't do anything for themselves... no please I'll get that, it's no problem at all!

It's just my face, I swear.

1. When you meet new people, they automatically assume you hate them or are rude.

2. People are constantly asking you if you're OK.

3. After being friends with someone for a while, they confess to you, "I thought you were so mean when I first met you," or, "I thought you hated me."

4. You get told to smile more, but they don't understand how scary that would be.

5. You're always labeled as seeming "judgy."

6. Passing a friend with your RBF in full force and not realizing you just shot them a death glare.

7. Being sarcastic, but everyone thinks you're outright rude.

8. Not knowing how mean you really look until you see a picture of yourself in resting face.

9. Your apologies never sound sincere because of your emotionless face.

10. Your "mad face" scares you.

11. And, lastly, people are constantly asking you if you are happy or having a good time because you look bored to death.

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