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The Top Ten Sexiest B*tches of 2016

Is your dog a sexy b*tch?

Sydney Robinson

Jan 20, 2016

The New School

294

Finally! The official ranking of 2016's sexiest b*tches is here. Forever changing the meaning of "hot dog," each of these b*tches is sexy in her own doggy right. So go on, check out our list of the Top 10 Sexiest B*tches of 2016 and find out... is your dog a sexy b*tch?

10. Weimaraner

This German seductress is known for more than just her sun-kissed good looks and tight, athletic build. Known as "the dog with a human brain", the Weimaraner possesses both smarts and undeniable sexiness.

9. Chihuahua

Don't let her size fool you -- this little mami is one big sassy diva. She is so hot and spicy that her ears even release heat to help keep her body temp regulated!

8. English Bulldog

Those curves! Those big bedroom eyes! The English Bulldog knows she's got that cake, and we're all just trying to cop an invite for some English pudding.

7. Corgi

Her confidence is undeniable and frankly, irresistible. This is one short-legged hottie who has no problem herding up male suitors.

6. French Bulldog

Despite being called a "Frenchie", this petite mademoiselle actually comes from England. A posh mix of Pug, Terrier, and English Bulldog, she is one cheeky pooch who is infamous for respiratory issues and frequent nip slips.

5. Dachshund

Referred to as the "Badger Dog" in Germany ("Dachs" = "badger", and "hund" = "dog" in German) because of her tendency to hunt badgers, the Dachshund is now commonly referred to as the "Wiener Dog."

4. American Eskimo Dog

Once trained to walk on a tightrope, this sexy b*tch now walks down runways in tights.

3. Poodle

I'll let this visual speak for itself. #MissSexy2016

2. Pug

Originally bred to sit on the laps of Chinese emperors, this pole-Pug might just dance on your lap if you toss her a twenty.

1. Golden Retriever

THIS IS ONE SEXY B*TCH! If any dog was going to be a Victoria's Secret Angel, it would be this dog. She belongs in EVERY rap video. She is one hot blonde with a big heart, strong family values, and an affinity for chasing balls. I wish I was a Golden Retriever sometimes. Don't we all?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Top Ten Sexiest B*tches of 2016

Is your dog a sexy b*tch?

10. Weimaraner

9. Chihuahua

8. English Bulldog

7. Corgi

6. French Bulldog

5. Dachshund

4. American Eskimo Dog

3. Poodle

2. Pug

1. Golden Retriever

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This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

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7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

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