Disclaimer: I am a cis Asian American woman. I am happy to be female. I do not have any intentions to offend anyone with this story. With that being said...
Storytime!
Every middle school has a P.E. class where you are required to wear a uniform: t-shirt and gym shorts.
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My middle school, Folsom Middle, was no exception. I had to buy my gym uniform and pretend to pride myself with its colors blue and yellow. My P.E. teacher warned everyone in class that if one of us gets dressed late, he would mark down points and grade us with an F. Since I took that warning literally, I got dressed earlier than anyone in my class.
Our locker/changing rooms were separated from boys and girls (before I knew what gender-nonconforming was). My P.E teacher would pick on the girls in my class for taking too much time especially wearing jewelry and make-up.
As someone who liked and still does like being early, this didn't apply to me. Whenever we went to the locker room, I usually changed, got dressed and left before my classmates including other girls from other P.E classes. Sometimes, I would be with the boys who were playing with themselves and their friends. I didn't mind: I really loved being earlier than anyone else. Not only my grade won't suffer, but also I got to enjoy some extra me time before everyone else joined me. Being early was and is part of who I am.
One day, I got dressed early and waited as usual. My friend came up to me with a confused look.
"Uh, Asela."
"Yeah?"
"Well, a girl came up to me and asked if you were a boy."
I paused. Me? A boy? Nobody that I knew of thought I was a boy at first. During that time, my hair was always short. From what my mom had told me, girls with a pixie cut hair most likely would get mistaken as a boy. Or pants! Girls dressed in pants, sneakers, and t-shirts would be mistaken as boys as well. However, no matter how short my hair was or how I dressed in my brother's hand-me-down jeans, people still recognized I was a girl. So for my friend to tell me this, I was confused. How could she, a girl from a different P.E class, think I was a boy when I had been wearing the same gym uniform everyday?
"What? Where did she get that idea?"
"I asked the same thing! She told me that whenever she came out for roll call, she would always see you out with the boys. So, she assumed you were a guy."
I don't remember if I confronted this classmate but vaguely remembered asking around who asked that question to my friend. I think one of my classmates from choir, Emily, was the one who asked that question.
After class was done, everyone crowded to their changing rooms when I talked to Emily to see if she was the one who asked about my gender. She nodded and laughed, "Yeah, I thought you were until your friend told me you're a girl."
At least, I think that's what happened. But still.
I couldn't believe it. I laughed. This wasn't how I dressed or how short my hair was. Emily thought I was a boy because how fast I got dressed. The fact that she was in the same choir as me made it even funnier.
To be honest, I'm not offended from this experience. My femininity wasn't questioned until that moment. That short story prompted my curiosity of what makes a boy or girl. Looking back, I still laugh about it to this day. I overthought all these common mistakes a girl like me gets if they dressed or styled what some might considered masculine. My mom got that all time when she had really short hair. I find it funny that my love for being early could put me as a boy. This memory taught me about gender norms and how comfortable I was wearing whatever clothes I had on, not only being on time. Though I am aware that some people might not take it as lightly as I did back then.
However, we can all agree that my P.E teacher is wrong.
I'm always early.
