Well, everyone, it’s over. After nearly 14 years of tension, tears and laughs so hard they nearly pushed your stomach out of your chest, "American Idol" is over. Though the show’s end has been inevitable since Simon Cowell left after Season 9, it’s still a bit strange to know that "Idol" is finally off the air. Let’s relive the 10 best (terrible) auditions the show has ever seen (note: two auditions that appear on this list are from the "X Factor UK," but I included them 1) in honor of Simon Cowell, and 2) because they are too bizarre to not be included in a list like this).

10. Steven “Red” Thoen - Bohemian Rhapsody - Season 6

Red kicks off our list with one of the most bizarre auditions "Idol" has ever seen. Before even beginning his song, he tells the judges he’s auditioning because he “likes competition”—not because he can sing. Don’t worry, though—he has seen the show “a couple of times” and knows what it’s all about. After he out-of-the-blue compares himself to Freddie Mercury, he begins his horrifying rendition of “Bohemian Rhapsody” that, predictably, ends in disaster.

Best quotes: “I can also do country as well” - Red; “That was like a one-year-old singing that song” - Simon

9. James Lewis - Go Down Moses / I’ll Fly Away - Season 7

There is just something… odd about James Lewis straight from the get-go. All the editors tell us about him is that he loves his job as a tour guide and has a slight speech impediment. He compares himself to Eddie Vedder and says his specialty is “anything that’s low.” It’s all very disturbing—and then we hear him sing, and things turn from disturbing to flat-out horrendous. The lyrics to “Go Down Moses” are completely incomprehensible, as Lewis sounds utterly piss drunk; think a stumbling, slurred version of “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” It’s horrifically glorious.

Best quotes: Every time Lewis says “let my people go”; “Pharaoh Pharaoh” - Lewis

8. Rachel Lester - Sugar Walls - Season 3 (X Factor UK)

Ah, the first of two entries from overseas. I know nothing about Evil Rachel’s past, and quite frankly, I don’t want to. All I know is that her "X Factor" audition is absolutely legendary, and that she went even crazier after her iconic performance.

Best quotes: Literally everything Lester says, specifically “I was good, wasn’t it? Let’s face it” and “Nothing, I’m lazy at the moment”

7. Derek Stillings - ?????? - Season 1

The original terrible audition is here in all it’s glory. It’s evident that 20-year-old Derek Stillings was quite passionate about his "Idol" performance by the fact that he composed his own song and choreographed his own dance routine to impress the judges. Unfortunately for him, it was absolutely abysmal. Also: the Chinese tattoo on his left arm is lowkey the best part of this audition.

Best quotes: The entire exchange between Simon and Stillings that ends the audition (and if Simon had his way, it would be Stillings’ last audition)

6. Joseph Land - Young Girl - Season 4

This is easily the most lighthearted and playful of the auditions listed here, but it doesn’t disappoint at all. Yes, Land’s singing is hilariously terrible, but the best part about his "Idol" story is that he falsified documents saying that he was 28 in order to meet the Idol age requirements. His passion is admirable, and the fact that he is very clearly not anywhere close to 28 is even more pleasing.

Best quotes: “That’s a long life” - Simon; Paula laughing at 1:24; “I can’t bear to listen to this anymore, please” - Simon

5. Keith Beukelaer - Like a Virgin / I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Season 2

Keith Beukelaer’s performance of Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” is unquestionably staged, yet still enthralling. Between his sweater, hair, inflection, dancing and especially his head movements, his, um, “unique” rendition of the Madonna classic is undeniably amazing. The best part of the audition, though, is that after he's finished slaughtering "Like a Virgin," Simon asks him to sing another song. “”I Wanna Dance With Somebody” is even worse; I’d argue that, without the chorus, it’d be near impossible to tell what song he is singing. It’s a brilliant, atonal mess, and it helped secure Beukelear’s spot in the top five.

Best quotes: “I’ve never, ever heard anything like that in my life” - Simon; “Keith, that was horrific, man” - Randy (you know when Randy adopts British slang that things have truly taken a turn for the worse)

4. Ariel Burdett - ???????????? - Season 5 (X Factor UK)

The best audition in "X Factor" history, hands down. I think it’d be best if I let the holistic vocal coach herself do all the talking, though I do want to point out how perfect the music from 2:05 on fits with the frightening ambiance of the audition room.

Best quotes: Every line. Not a dull moment in sight.

3. Mary “Guilbeaux” Roach - I Feel the Earth Move / Empty Shell - Season 4

Probably the most widely known cringe-worthy "Idol" audition (besides William Hung, who wasn’t even that funny and won’t be appearing on this list). Let’s be clear—Mary Roach is not a real person. She is a character put on by a comedian whose name I unfortunately cannot find. This comedian, whoever she is, is brilliant, because Mary Roach is 100 percent believable as a genuine person. She is obviously quite lost and deluded, but her understanding of tackiness and realistic ambition to pursue a cosmetology career keep her just sane enough for the audience to latch onto her and treat her as legitimate. Her voice is masterfully crafted to walk the line between fake and real, her post-audition rage is just tame enough to seem authentic… it’s all perfect. (She does very subtly break character at one point during the video, though—can you catch it?)

Best quotes: “Break a leg—that’s what they always say in theater” - Mary; “Not too much strut though, because that looks tacky” - Mary; “G-U-I-L-B-E-A-U-X” - Mary

2. Jonathan Rey - The One - Season 3

Ghastly vibrato + assault on Simon Cowell = legendary.

1. Sarah Goldberg - Dreaming of You - Season 6

Unlike Mary Roach, Sarah Goldberg is not a character. Sarah Goldberg is Sarah Goldberg. She knows she can’t sing, and didn’t come to "Idol" expecting to get through to Hollywood. She came as a joke and to be on TV, and thank God she did, because she gave us the most legendary "Idol" audition of all time. It’s almost mythical—and Simon isn’t even a part of it! “You could teach me” is the best line ever said on "Idol," and Goldberg’s ending monologue about the judges drinking until 3 a.m. is equally as memorable. This is another instance where I need to let the audition itself do the talking. If "American Idol" were an epoch, this audition would be epochal. May Sarah Goldberg live in "Idol" infamy forever.