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Politics and Activism

The Tale Of TedZODIACruz

NOTE: This is a parody piece intended for humor even though it may not be that funny.

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The Tale Of TedZODIACruz
flickr

1970.

The year the Zodiac Killer stopped being active on the crime scene. Coincidentally, the year Ted Cruz was "born"... or is it really a coincidence?

Legend tells that after being so close to getting caught the Zodiac got into the occult and through a Satanic ritual, transformed into a baby to throw everyone off the scent. Granted having to go through life again was no picnic but it was all part of his ultimate plan.

What did this plan consist of?

1. Passing himself off as a person of faith to garner a strong enough support base that would always stand by him.

2. Using said 'faith' to infiltrate the United States government and making this work in representing the state of Texas, the state that would guarantee him an easy victory for reasons that need not be explained.

3. Take over the country.

And the deaths of many politicians recently and his refusal to accept that Donald Trump is getting the Republican nomination all point to the obvious diabolical plan for the Zodiac Killer to run the country in order to get away with future crimes.

And if I am wrong... then let's just say the possibility of Crab People has yet to be ruled out.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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