James told me he had a surprise, and that I should pack a bag as if we were going camping.

“Are we going camping?” I asked

“If I told you, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll play along.”

We packed up his jeep with all the essentials; beer, a radio, some snacks, and a tent with sleeping bags. He parked his car and we got out. He took my hand and started down the street. He stopped when we reached the old abandoned place on Oak Street.

“What are we doing here?”

“Let’s spend the night!”

“What?”

“Yeah, we’ll be alone, it’s kind of scary and we can do some re-decorating, know what I mean?”

“Umm, I’m not sure that I do..?”

“Trust me you’ll love it.”

It was late afternoon when we walked into the abandoned building with our camping gear. I was terrified. James was steady and warm. We went on exploring and found cans, trash, shattered glass. I shivered. He took my hand and led me to a room with a green tattered porch chair and black metal table. He pulled out the beat-up seat and gestured to it. I acted all surprised, “For me? Why thank you sir!” I laughed. He made me less afraid as he pretended to pour the wine into an invisible glass, like a child. Then he popped off the cork and offered me a sip. I took the bottle to my lips and then handed it back. He took a few gulps and stared straight at the graffiti wall. Purposeful, yet seemingly random dark markings and names everywhere. Before I knew it, he was shaking a can and writing something all his own, larger than life,

In red.

“Kelly, will you marry me?”

I leapt out of my chair, breath caught in my chest I swear I couldn’t get any air. I kept switching my gaze between the huge dumb smile across his wonderful face and the graffiti wall with my message on it.

He laughed at me as I covered my mouth with my hand, and I hit him with my other arm. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head he said, “I know”.

I cried. I still felt the pounding in my chest the day he first hugged me like this. I loved him.

“So, will you marry me?” he asked as he pulled away just a little, so I could see he was holding a little diamond ring.

I never wanted to marry anyone, but I’d marry him twice if he wanted me to. I looked up at him and nodded with a smile. He took the ring I had on my finger, moved it, and placed his on instead. He cradled the back of my head with his hand and wrapped his arm around my waist. He pulled me in and kissed me. I could taste the universe; the stars and empty space the planets and galaxies orbited and soared around me as he moved his hand down my back and squeezed me tighter. When I pulled away I was unable to move. I stood there with my eyes closed, trying my very best to remember the moment.

“Umm, Kel?” I could tell he was giving me that look with the wrinkly forehead.

“Umm, yeah?” I let out a breath and opened my eyes. “What?” He just laughed at me. I awkwardly kissed his teeth, smooth and slimy but happy. I never wanted to age.

“Soo, why’d you take me here?” I wondered.

“I know you can find beauty anywhere, that’s something I love about you.”

“So the abandoned place on the corner of Oak Street?” I raised my eyebrows at him.

“Yeah, it’s a little scary, but I needed a good, safe canvas.”

“This is your idea of safe?” I teased.

“Safe from the police if you must know!” He started laughing and passed me the bottle of wine. We spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking. We pitched the tent even though we were inside some of the windows were smashed and there was a draft. It was warm, and we fell asleep fast.

By the time I woke up a few hours later, something was wrong. James snored next to me as I scrambled to open the tent flaps to see what was happening. I could hardly see through all the smoke, I started coughing and it woke James.

“What the…? Kelly! We gotta get outta here right now!”

“I’m scared, there’s no way out!”, I cried.

“There’s got to be a way out!” But the old house fell to pieces around us. The flames ate through the rotting wood, the boarded-up windows, and blew up the rest of the glass. We tried to escape, but there wasn’t a safe exit. I couldn’t just wait for the fire to take us. I couldn’t stand the overwhelming fear any longer. Neither of us could stand to watch the other get swallowed up by the fire. We decided, and we did it together.

you promise me everything will be alright and

so, I’ll keep my arms around you tight.

until the smoke starts to suffocate and our hearts catch flame

And then I’ll gaze upon the lovely mess we made.