Over the past three years as a college student, I have seen a lot of good come from my fellow millennial classmates across the country. Fresh and innovative ideas, social tolerance, and for the most part relatively positive political activism. At the same time, I have also seen some pretty dimwitted, obnoxious, and downright ridiculous things come from our generation, specifically our generation of college students. I mentioned in passing before my distaste for “safe spaces,” “hipster culture,” and the forced political correctness that seems to stem from millennials. However, I also don’t care enough about any of that to dedicate an entire article to it. That being said this particular batch of ignorant, self-righteous, millennial cry-fest deserves at least a shred of my attention primarily because of the entertainment value, and secondly because I hope that if any of my fellow millennials read this and are planning to from any protest, you will get a good idea of what not to do. So without further delay, let's discuss the “Cocks, Not Glocks” protest.
If you visit Texas UT in Austin TX you might be shocked and somewhat ruffled to see large, veiny dildos hanging from the backpacks, keychains, and belt holsters on campus. Initially, you might wonder where all these sex toys came from until you walked ways and found a stand set up outside campus handing them out with the sign “Cocks Not Glocks” hanging from the table. You might wonder to yourself, “just what the hell is going on?!” Well let’s break it down, shall we? A new law in Texas has been passed allowing students who are properly licensed to conceal carry firearms on campus grounds. The law was passed in response to the recent uptick in lone wolf shooting across the country such as the attempted attack on a Muhammad Art Exhibit in Texas a year earlier. In that instance, the two suspects were shot and killed before they could do any damage.
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However not every student agrees with the new law, specifically in Austin, Texas, which is notably more anti-gun leaning than the rest of the primarily pro second amendment state. In response to what the students feel is a ridiculous law (some would call it a freedom) the students have decided to organize the “Cocks Not Glocks” protest. But why dildos? Well in the student handbook there is a clearly written rule that sex objects may not be brandished publicly on school grounds. The student handbook doesn’t offer any reason for this rule but we can all assume it’s to prevent students from feeling sexually harassed, which is normally one of the hallmarks of P.C culture, apparently not in this case. The movement organizer Jessica Jin has stated that, “In America, there is a normalization of gun culture…but a shutdown of sex culture which is happy and fun.” Well, I can’t disagree with you there, Jin. Sex is awesome. But please allow me to explain why this protest is stupid and offer a better solution to this problem.
The right to bear arms is a guaranteed second amendment right, it may be ingrained in certain cultures such as military culture, but ultimately it is every American’s right. From the perspective of many Texans, it should be their right to protect themselves, especially in a post 9/11 environment where lone wolf attacks are becoming more and more prevalent. Jessica Jin argues that, "if guns around you aren’t making you uncomfortable then maybe this dildo protest will make you rethink what makes you uncomfortable.” Well Jin, sorry to tell you this, but I don’t personally give a damn what you are comfortable with. My personal safety is not subject to your comfort level. As far as trying to make me or anyone else uncomfortable by brandishing dildos on your backpack… Well, I think it looks kind of stupid but I really don’t care that much about it because unlike many millennial P.C proponents those of us involved with gun culture are probably the least sensitive individuals around. That being said, you might have some luck making the more conservative Christian groups blush at the side of your cocks, so good job I guess.
Overall the most hilarious and tactful thing the school could possibly do in response to this movement is to remove the ban on public brandishing of sex toys. That would both take the piss out of this protest, as well as make Texas UT a way more interesting and safer place to go to school.
