It can be very difficult to go to a religious school and not share that religion. I attend a Catholic university because of the amazing science program it offers, and I happen to be... well, nothing, at the moment. I've been struggling with my religion for years, and at this point, I'm just exploring a bunch of different religions to figure out which one suits me best, if any of them even do. And that is totally OK. That being said, however, I find it challenging to go to a university that is built upon a religion I don't practice and happen to disagree with some of.

I'm not bashing Catholicism at all, but it's something I've looked into and I find myself having more questions than answers from the faith, and disagree with a lot of fundamental principles. Because of that, I often found myself feeling isolated or a sore thumb at my university because my morals and beliefs are much more liberal. I tried very hard to shy away from religious conversation and tended to not share my thoughts on what "God" is because I was very afraid of being judged or outcast. Plus, a lot of people around me were deeply rooted in their faith, and it felt odd to not be deeply rooted in one as well.

On top of that, I had to take classes on the Catholic religion, which I found practically impossible to participate in like I wanted to, for fear of offending someone, which I never want to do. It was very taxing for me to wake up every day and go to a class to talk about a religion I didn't practice and a god I didn't believe in. I was (and still am) active in the choir as well, and about 99.99 percent of the songs focus on God. It felt fraudulent to be singing songs and praise to a god I didn't believe in. It also forced me to really dwell on what I thought was true about faith and what's out there, and I spent so much time dwelling on it that I got incredibly anxious about my belief system.

Because of that, I began to really hide what I believed in and my morals because I wanted to avoid judgment and conversation about religion and politics, since those unfortunately go hand-in-hand. I was always brimming with these things, however, because I greatly enjoy sharing my thoughts and trying to get people to see things a different way.

Eventually, I realized, through the help of the director of Campus Ministry (weird, I know) and a lot of talking to my parents, that I couldn't control what people think of me and that I shouldn't have to hide away who I am or what I believe in just because I go to a religious school. Although it's still difficult to express myself as who I am and what I believe in, it's gotten easier, especially learning that people don't judge as much as I thought they would. At the end of the day, even though it can be taxing to go to a school which is based upon a religion I don't share, I learn a lot about myself and get exposed to new and wonderful (albeit sometimes confusing) things daily, and I wouldn't have it any other way.