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The Struggles Of Being Jewish During Christmas Season

"Roses are reddish violets are blueish, if it weren't for Christmas, we all would be Jewish."

Dec 18, 2016

The Struggles Of Being Jewish During Christmas Season

Growing up, I lived for Hanukkah. No seriously, I was obsessed with it. But then I realized that the world cares a lot more about spreading Christmas cheer than spinning dreidels...I started to notice that everywhere I went, there were Christmas decorations and people handed out candy canes instead of chocolate gelt. I stopped looking for the tiny Menorah in the occasional store window and grew tired of saying "sorry I'm Jewish" whenever someone said "Merry Christmas". I no longer fought with people when they said Christmas was better than Hanukkah because I started to agree. As much as I hated to admit it, I totally succumbed to the Christmas spirit. How can you not, though? People are infatuated by Christmas and "All I Want For Christmas Is You" is extremely catchy...but all I wanted for Christmas was to actually celebrate Christmas...

If you're one of those people who don't celebrate Christmas, you will relate.

1. As a kid, you held the burden of keeping the whole Santa thing a secret.

2. Or worse, you believed in Santa and just thought he hated you.

3. You couldn't go anywhere without hearing Christmas music for a whole month.

You complained about how annoying it was but you secretly always sang along.

4. Your parents wouldn't let you buy a Santa hat and all the cool kids were wearing them.

I mean, you could always wear a yamaka, but that isn't as fun.

5. Everyone's house smelt like pine trees and cinnamon, while yours smelled like potato pancakes.

6. You scoured the TV channels looking for a Hanukkah movie or TV show, but nothing compared to "Elf."

"A Rugrats Chanukah" was great and all until you watched it for the 11th time.

7. After begging your parents to celebrate Christmas for just one year, they suggested a "Hanukkah bush."

But who the f*** wants one of those?

8. When everyone asked if you were getting Chinese food and going to the movies on Christmas Eve.

Yes, I'm eating Chinese because it's the only thing open...

9. The fact that, even though you get eight nights of presents, everyone ended up with more than you on Christmas morning.

10. Basically, all you want is for Christmukkah to be a real thing...

Because two holidays are better than one.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Struggles Of Being Jewish During Christmas Season

"Roses are reddish violets are blueish, if it weren't for Christmas, we all would be Jewish."

1. As a kid, you held the burden of keeping the whole Santa thing a secret.

2. Or worse, you believed in Santa and just thought he hated you.

3. You couldn't go anywhere without hearing Christmas music for a whole month.

4. Your parents wouldn't let you buy a Santa hat and all the cool kids were wearing them.

5. Everyone's house smelt like pine trees and cinnamon, while yours smelled like potato pancakes.

6. You scoured the TV channels looking for a Hanukkah movie or TV show, but nothing compared to "Elf."

7. After begging your parents to celebrate Christmas for just one year, they suggested a "Hanukkah bush."

8. When everyone asked if you were getting Chinese food and going to the movies on Christmas Eve.

9. The fact that, even though you get eight nights of presents, everyone ended up with more than you on Christmas morning.

10. Basically, all you want is for Christmukkah to be a real thing...

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Sleepovers are not a thing. They're just not.

1. You only ask things once.

2. Seriously, you only ask once.

3. When you do muster up the courage to ask your parents for something, you creep around and wait until they’re in a good mood.

4. Before you get that final yes, you have to go through an interview.

5. If you ever got “the eye,” you knew you were screwed.

6. You were always the first to leave your group of friends when hanging out.

7. If you say you will be home at a certain time, you better be home at that time.

8. Seeing a missed call from your parents sends fear and horror through your veins.

9. If relatives are coming over to the house, your room better be clean.

10. You are careful about what jokes you share with your parents.

11. "You’re not an adult until you turn 18! You can do whatever you want then!"

12. If plans change while you’re out, you better text or call.

13. Don’t talk back. Ever.

14. When you’re called by your full name, you’re in deep trouble.

15. Don’t make them call your name twice.

16. Sleepovers are not a thing.

17. Despite all of these things, you know your parents love you.

For better or for worse

1. Pets

2. Mornings

3. Mistakes

4. Cooking for yourself

5. Hosting

6. Taking care of yourself

7. Holidays

8. Roommates

9. Keeping focused and getting stuff done

10. Cleaning

11. Social life

No, really. I'm not mad. Just hungry.

1. You’re tired of people asking you if you know what “RBF” stands for every time you zone out.

2. You’re constantly using the excuse, “I’m just tired” when people ask you if you’re mad.

3. Or “I’m just thinking.”

4. In fact, you’re rarely ever actually mad.

5. But when you are, people usually can’t tell.

6. You find other people with RBF’s and have to convince yourself that you don’t look like them.

7. You constantly remind yourself, “At least I’m not a psycho.”

Some of your best ideas come through boredom.

1. If the professor is late by one minute, I'm leaving.

2. Oh crap, that's due TODAY?!

3. Can I nap in here?

4. I wonder what they're serving at the cafeteria.

5. How much does my teacher even get paid?

6. How much will I get paid?

7. This is the longest 50 minutes of my life.

8. Maybe if I call mom, she'll give me money.

9. How much do street performers make anyway?

10. Why am I here? I could be a street performer by now.

11. Oh right, I'm not talented.

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