Driving is one of the most frustrating endeavors I face on a daily basis. Here are a few dilemmas I've faced as an owner of a car in Brooklyn, New York.
1. There Is ALWAYS Traffic On The Belt Parkway.
No matter what time of the day, month, or year, you can almost guarantee yourself a migraine and a foot cramp if you plan on taking this route anywhere. Making a decision to drive onto this patch of road is similar to volunteering to watch paint dry everyday, 24/7, for the rest of your life.2. The Person That Puts Their Signal On After He/She Has Already Cut You Off.
Why? Why do you do that? What’s the point in doing me the
“courtesy” of signaling after I’ve already had to slam my foot down on my
breaks and your car is already in front of me? Do you suddenly feel guilty
after you’ve cut me off, or are you just a sociopath playing with my emotions?
I’m thinking the ladder on this one.
3. Your Neighbors Can't Wait Until You Die So They Can Have Your Parking Spot.
The competitiveness that comes along with having a “stable” parking spot on your block is similar to the hunger games. Even the elderly would knock you down. I understand that if you’ve lived there your entire life and this spot has been “yours” since you were seventeen, I’d respect that. But what neighbors fail to understand is that the street is PUBLIC PROPERTY. This simply means YOU DO NOT OWN THE STREET. Ergo, you do not own “your spot.”4. When The Bridge Goes Up On The Belt Parkway.
This never happens at a convenient time. You’re in a hurry;someone is having a baby, the birds are hatching in the backyard, or you’ve got
a final in ten minutes. The weather is also uncomfortably hot and sticky, which
makes turning off your car that much more undesirable. However, the bridge is
up for so long to let a minuscule sailboat through that you need to turn off
your car or the battery will die. You sit there sweating from heat to toe,
contemplating life and moving far, far away from this highway.
5. The Person That Takes Your Spot After You Spent Two Days Shoveling Yourself Out.
There’s a special place in hell for you. Do you think I shoveled myself out so you can pull your car into it while I was at school? The only reason I did it was to make my life easier, not yours.
6. The Person That Doesn't Give You The "Thank You" Wave When You Let Them Merge Into Traffic.You’re an hour, maybe two into sitting in traffic. You see a person struggling to try to get into the traffic, and for a moment, you let your angered guard down to let them in. It felt good to be nice to someone in a location with so much ignorance, and then it hits you. They don’t wave back to thank you. This is when you learn to let them sink when they don’t have swimmies on.
7. The Person Who Drives Up To The Front Of The Merging Lane On The Highway When There's Bumper-To-Bumper Traffic.
Excuse me, but who are you? Did an almighty power give you permission to cut in front of everyone? We’re all in a rush, what makes you SO special? If anyone has an answer or explanation to this madness, please don’t hesitate to send me a message.
8. Tailgating.
Would like to hop into my trunk, or…? I ask this question because you’re riding so close to my bumper you may as well be.