Self-love is a buzzword that has been thrown around a lot lately, and it seems like everyone is preaching it. From ad campaigns to self-help books to YouTube videos, the message to “love yourself” is permeating our millennial culture.

In a world where we are bombarded with commercials of celebrities with shiny hair and twiggy models who are paid by the Instagram post, we are constantly told that we aren’t enough. We’re told to change ourselves. We’re told that we’ll be better once we’re skinnier, prettier, smarter, and richer. And we start thinking that we’ll finally love ourselves once we are those things.

The painful truth is that these are band-aid solutions. Losing weight isn’t the magic cure that will make you like yourself. Approval from others won’t leave you satisfied. Expensive clothes won’t make you love what you see in the mirror. And more money in your pocket will only soothe your demons for so long.

Self-love, and I mean radical self-love, is unconditional. It means having the ability to love yourself at your lowest points. It’s loving yourself despite the fact that you might be a total disaster. Regardless of the fact that you’ve been fired from your job or the fact that the number on the scale is steadily increasing. Loving yourself when it seems like no one else does. Loving yourself when everything is wrong. It's the kind of love that asks no questions. The love that you deserve to have for yourself should require no conditions.

All clichés aside, we really do only have one life. The only life that you will ever get to live is your own. You will only ever live in your own body, looking out on the world with your own two eyes. You can try to change yourself in whatever ways you desire, but ultimately the person inside will always be you. You can try to run from yourself, but you’ll never get too far.

Learning to love yourself is no small feat. You have to reprogram your brain to see yourself as a friend and not an enemy. It requires unlearning the thoughts that led you to believe you weren't enough, even when there is a record playing them on a loop in your head. It’s time to turn it off.

It’s certainly a journey, one that I am just beginning to start out on. But I’ve discovered that embarking on this journey is the only option. Wishing to be someone other than yourself is incredibly draining and wasteful, and hating yourself is a sure-fire way to ruin your own life. I’ve realized that the only option is to make peace with yourself and that it is a beautiful thing when you do.