Everyone has heard and read the struggles of couples who have long distant relationships. There seems to be three types of long distant couples: ones that are made stronger, ones that fall apart, and ones that become open relationships. Now, the problem with categorizing couples on their distance can vary a lot. For instance, there could be factors of distance, reasons they are apart and strength of the relationship before there was distance.
Some couples choose distance, as high school sweethearts go away for nine months to the college of their dreams, while others are separated due to deployment. Every couple has a background, a story, and a journey that differs from all the others, but the one common factor with long distant relationships is the missing physical and emotional presence of our significant other.
Recommended for you
My recent relationship has been over three years long and going strong. We met when I was a sophomore in high school, while he was going into his freshman year of college. It wasn't until the end of my junior year that we decided to start dating, and to be honest it was a hard decision. I really liked this kid, but all I could see was us spending a wonderful summer together and then he would leave to go back to school for nine months. I would see him on holidays, but all that time in between seemed unfathomable to me.
After some thought, I took the risk and put my heart out on the line. We started dating at the end of May in 2013, and we spent an amazing summer together. When he left for school it was difficult, but we were both so busy with school and sports that we were able to enjoy the FaceTimes and phones calls that we had periodically. It was more toward the winter when the long distance took a toll on us. It had been weeks without seeing each other, I missed going out or just watching movies, and the phone calls started to have the same pattern of conversation. I missed him physically and emotionally, but there was nothing I could do to lessen the distance between us.
My first solution was to take a break. I thought that maybe if we weren't dating it wouldn't be so hard, but I was so wrong. We talked about breaking up, but we never went through with the idea. I realized that even if we broke up, he was still my best friend and that I would still miss him no matter what our relationship status was. I learned to love all the FaceTimes and phone calls, was emotional at every visit, and learned to love from a distance.
My time for college came, and that meant even more distance put between our relationship. We spent the summer of my senior year together, enjoying the closeness of company of one another that was lost over the school year. We both prepared for the changes that would come to our lives, myself going to experience college and Charles going into his third year of school. It wasn't going to be easy, but we had both learned to cope with the distance and were ready to part for the school year.
The first couple months were a whirlwind of new friends, new home, new education, new everything. I spontaneously adopted a kitten, who we named Oliver, and he went to live with Charlie while I was in the dorms. I saw both Charles and Oliver during holidays, and the few times I could hide away from my academic and athletic responsibilities to visit home. We were both busy, and the times we were apart had prepared us for this new transition in our lives.
A few colleges later, Charles ended up in Milwaukee. He had finally found a school that had what he wanted, but more importantly what he needed to succeed. He moved up to Milwaukee, just across the river, into a studio apartment where Oliver and he would spend the first year and a half in. It was wonderful, having the love of my life be right across the river, but it was also something that I had never experienced. We were so accustomed to being apart that we had to start learning how to be close during the school year. It was a hard transition, learning to balance our school work, extracurriculars, and our friends. Some of our date nights would get pushed because of exams, or we would stay at each other's apartment just to watch a television show and then be off to bed. It wasn't the perfect summer romance we had, it was a realistic relationship that we had never experienced.
It was fun, exploring the city and our universities. Charlie would come to my softball games, and I would guest star on his WWE radio show that was held every Tuesday. We got to see Oliver grow, learning to be a city cat and finding the love for Milwaukee that we had found. Everything was good, happy, and we were together. We had thought, for at least the time being, that distance wouldn't be an issue and that we would but that part of our relationship behind us.
But of course, being in our early twenties, adventure and opportunities are as endless as a clear night sky. For two years, now, I have traveled to the state of Washington, being an intern for GTR Technologies for the whole month of August. The first time was hard, leaving everything I knew behind to gain knowledge and experience I could not get while I was back at home. It was just like my senior year of high school, Charles being just a FaceTime or phone call away. I had a young kitty at home, who I knew would not understand why someone that was supposed to be a dominant figure in his life up and leave for four weeks. Taking the internship for a second time was a harder decision, but an easier transition. I am currently in the middle of my internship and have learned so much. I miss my family, friends, boyfriend, and my kitty, but I know that this is something that I need to do to further my career.
Through the three and a half years I have been with Charles, there have been a lot of obstacles that we had to overcome; distance was one of the hardest. But in the end, we have learned that distance is really only a temporary obstacle that can be overcome with some time and patience. I am truly lucky to say that distance has made us stronger as a couple, even if it didn't make us better as a couple.
He is the love of my life, and one of my best friends, and I don't see how I could give that up for some thousand miles. So, if you are currently in a long term relationship, do not give up hope. It is normal to be emotional, to wake up from a dream and cry because in that dream you were together. It is normal to want to give up everything to go home and see them, but you also know how important these changes are to you and that your significant other respects you in such a way that you cannot give up. Long distance relationships are not easy, and anyone who admits that is lying. They are hard on the body, mind and soul; yet, there are people out there that are so worth the pain. They are your other half, so don't let something like a number take that away from you.
