Let’s all take a journey back to 2003, when the first "Cheetah Girls" movie premiered on Disney Channel. Imagine 8-year-old me on the floor enjoying girl-power music and perfectly styled monochrome velour jumpsuits. Then Derek (played by Kyle Schmid) steamily brushes Galleria (played by Raven-Symone, when she still identified herself as black) on the cheek and says, “But you know, you’re still my boo.” In this moment, I knew from the bottom of my soul that I was attracted to white boys.
This realization affected more than just my romantic life; apparently dating outside of your race is still a strangely unique thing in the 21st century. My attraction to people who do not share the same skin color as me has opened my eyes to how prevalent stereotypes still are to the world of interracial dating. As progressive as society claims to be, people of all races have still asked me so many ignorant questions about my dating preferences. Here is a list of some of the most annoying struggles of being a black girl who likes white boys.
“So, what do your parents say?”
This has got to be the number one most annoying question that I get asked pretty much any time people find out that I have had white boyfriends. I’m not sure if people are expecting a huge scandal involving me getting disowned from my family and having to move in with friends from my interracial relationship support group, but I’m sorry to disappoint. My parents want nothing but the best for me and are happy to accept anyone that brings joy to my life. I know, it’s shocking, but my parents want the best for me.
“So, why do you hate black men?”
For the record: I love black men. Just because I also love white guys does not mean that I have anything against the chocolate loveliness that is blackness. It just so happens that vanilla is yummy too. No, a single black man did not “ruin” me, making me turn to other races, and no, I don’t think black is whack. I just enjoy being around people of all different cultures. Also, I have been with black guys, so please don’t ask me that either.
“How did you get a white boy? Can you help me?”
At first, this was one of the most annoying things I could hear for two reasons: first, I did not change anything about myself to “get” a white guy. Second, I am not the spokesperson for white guys who like black girls. Yes, I do have a twisted sense of humor and I have referred to myself as “the white boy magnet,” but if we are being serious, please don’t treat me like e-Harmony. I do not actively seek white men, partly because I am not exclusively attracted to one race, but also because I am more into someone’s personality than anything else. If you truly want to be with someone only because of his or her race, you should reevaluate what you want in a relationship.
“Are you doing this because you want mixed kids?”
No. No. No. No. I am not dating a white man because I want mixed kids. This is a horribly offensive statement to make in 2016. One, I am 21, and I am not on the look out for the finest sperm specimen for my future children. Two, the fact that anyone would even assume that I would desire a white father just so that my kids are less black than I am is ridiculous. If that thought even crosses your mind long enough for you to have the audacity to verbalize it to me, I am questioning why you think I would desire a child that isn’t black. Why would you assume that blackness is so bad I would do that?
“Does this mean that you’re ashamed of your race?”
Out of all the ridiculous things that I have heard, this is probably the most offensive. Just because I am attracted to guys of all races does not make me love my race less. I love being a black woman, and anyone who knows me is aware that I am a huge advocate for many issues in the black community. That being said, my attraction to other races is a reflection on how I feel about other people, not how I feel about myself. It shows that I think everyone of every race is beautiful in his or her own way, and I don’t just see beauty in people that look like me. Yes, I think chocolate skin and curly hair is so amazing, but I also love fair skin and blue eyes. No one race is superior to another, and we all as human beings have unique beauty.
