All my life people have told me I have an "Old Soul," or that I act beyond my years. I understand why they say this, I often feel beyond my years. I worry less about taking a good selfie, and more about the smiles I give freely to the people I pass. I worry less about documenting and posting my life on social media and more about living my life to the fullest.
I'm not saying the way my brain works is better than others, I'm just saying that it's different. This difference has added a lot of challenges to my daily life, though. I don't understand the problems of much of my generation, many things feel silly and small in the grand scheme of things. Arguments about whether or not the boy down the road likes me or you is not a problem I want to spend a lot of time on.
Often I am mistaken as someone much beyond my years because I can carry on a conversation with those of a generation above me. I'm quiet, reserved, and contemplative. I think, normally for a while before I speak. I don't really care for social media, I care less about the number of followers I have on Instagram and more about the relationships I build with the people around me. These, I feel, are some perks and maybe a few downsides to being an "old soul."
For nearly four years I have been in therapy for social anxiety and depression and much of my mental illness stems from the fact I feel I don't connect very well with my own generation. I am more happy in a group of 40-70-year-olds than I will probably ever be in a group of people my own age. This will probably change as my generation grows up, but for now I find it slightly stressful.
I'm a freshman in college and for most of my high school career I was better friends with my teachers than with my fellow students. With the larger student body, I've been able to find more likeminded people, but because I'm out of practice, having friends is stressful. I don't know how to behave. My anxiety and depression tell me I am not good enough to be friends with the people I have become friends with. My mind tells me that in fact I can be friends with them, but it's hard to push down old feelings.
I still feel displaced in my own generation, but I wouldn't give up being an old soul for anything because it gives me a different perspective and the ability to teach my friends a thing or two about the grand scheme of things.