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The Struggle For Motivation

A low key take on an existential crisis

Nov 07, 2016

I’ve been having a bit of an existential crisis lately. It hasn’t been much of “Why are humans on the earth” or “What is the purpose of life?” but more of a struggle for motivation. If I’m going to be completely honest, I haven’t done any school work or written articles in about two weeks. The thing is, I know I need to get my shit done. I know that I need to pass my classes to graduate and go on to do great things in my life but I just can’t. The motivation to do anything other than sleep and Instagram stalk people is literally nonexistent.

Everything I have been doing lately seems to be for other people. Nothing I do seems to be for me anymore, even writing these articles. It’s just so incredibly difficult. Writing these articles feels like a chore rather than something I love to do. Getting this degree seems to be more for my parent’s happiness than for my benefit. And the thing is I know it isn’t. Like I said, I know getting this degree lets me do great amazing things in life. I know that this is what I actually want to do but I feel like a train coming to a halt. Just pure momentum pushing me and I’m running out of energy fast.

I doubt this is my lovely friends anxiety and depression peeking out of their hiding hole because I’m happy. I’m happy when I’m with my friends, I’m happy when I’m eating ice cream and I’m happy when I’m Facetiming my boyfriend in the wee morning hours. I’m honestly okay. So please don’t send me a flood of “Are you okay Cate? I read your article you posted…” text messages and calls because I’m fine. I swear to baby Jesus. Yes mother, I’ve been eating, sleeping and taking my crazy meds…

I’m not too sure how to get everything on track and get myself out of this little burn out. I’ve been trying so hard to quit my shit and be excited to write again but it’s not really happening. Like I said, I know what I need to do and why I need to do it. I’m sort of hoping that a little meteorite of motivation and inspiration hits me and I’m good till the rest of the year, but that's a little too optimistic.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Struggle For Motivation

A low key take on an existential crisis

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

We don't buy into these... just like how we don't buy our friends.

8. "The whole philanthropy thing isn't real, right?"

7. "I don't need to buy my friends."

6. "Oh, so I'll bet you love to drink."

5. "Can you tell me some of your secrets?"

4. "What do you do at your meetings?"

3. "Do you guys haze really badly?"

2. "Is it just like in the movies?"

1. "Sororities are so basic."

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!