After a beautiful day outside, and a successful “candid” shoot, you have a profile worthy picture according to your friends -- whatever that means. Your friends peer pressure you into defaulting this new picture because you look, oh, “so pretty” or, oh, “so cute” or la di da. After careful assessment of the picture, and asking a variety of people if you should change your picture to this new picture, you decide to change your default.

Then comes that awful one minute filler time when there’s not a single comment or like. You feel as if your identity has been launched into the Facebook world begging for approval. The lack of comments and likes is simply the Facebook world reflecting the seemingly obvious self deprecating reality -- you’re not worth it.

You slowly see the amount of likes creep up and reach a modest number. However, you still know you won’t be satisfied unless your likes reach the average number you can normally obtain. If the default exceeds average amounts of likes, you secretly feel a sense of elated self-esteem. On the flip side, if the default does not live up to your expected value of likes, you feel an incredible sense of self-doubt.

Your mind frantically races trying to rationalize the decreased amount of likes. Am I not pretty anymore? Should I just delete this picture and go back to my old default? Maybe this wasn’t the best time to change my default. Wow -- my head looks so fat; clearly that’s the reason for the lack of likes. Omg, that special someone didn’t like the default, clearly it’s because they think I’m hideous.

You’re about to seek validation from your friends, but then realize that you’re being a self centered person by investing so much mental energy in caring about a frivolous subject such as how many likes you get. So, you decide to sit in your stew of self doubt and put on a happy face so as to not bother your friends with your silly worries.

With everything I just said, this sounds like I’m describing the mental process of buying a house or picking a wedding dress. I think buying a house is a bit more of a life changing event than changing a default. So, why on earth do we get so much anxiety when we change our profile picture? Since when did a picture on Facebook have so much stakes in our feelings of self worth?

The reality of it is that people perceive Facebook likes to be a direct measurement of popularity or, in other words, an objective labeling of your self worth. This seems to especially apply to girls. We tend to embody the Urban Outfitters/Vogue-like style.

Or, the cutesy “candid” look.

According to society, girls are only worth their appearance. Don’t worry, society provided an outlet; if your appearance is not great, you can at least compensate by being constantly happy and taking care of others all the time. With this dumb message constantly propelled at us, it’s hard not to feel the pressure to look attractive and be happy 24/7 because who wants to be with a girl who does not embody at least one of those attributes? At least, that’s what society tells us.

So, no wonder girls freak out about changing their default! The likes on our default is a direct measurement of whether social media/society thinks we are attractive, or happy and cute. When the number of likes does not validate to us that society sees us this way, we panic into thinking we’ll forever be alone because we’re not properly conveying that lie that we’re happy and cute 24/7.

Well, society, I’m sorry to report that girls are not happy and your perception of cute all the time. Let me remind you that we are human beings, and we feel an array of emotions. We do not always feel that cutesy happy you wants us to be. In fact, the fiasco of changing a profile picture and trying to live up to your standards only takes away from whatever level of happiness you want us to exude.

So how about you try to advertise real girls and, no, I do not mean real girls that fit into a cookie cutter mold such as “plus size girls” or real girls that are then Photoshopped to the point of being beyond recognizable.

How about just photographing girls living life, without the filter of Photoshop, the conducting of a director saying can you smile a little more, or tilt your head this way? All we are doing is perpetuating a lie and stripping girls of their right to be anything but happy and pretty.

Once you do that society, maybe girls can use their mental energy for something much more fulfilling and constructive than the changing of their default. Honestly, maybe just maybe, without your pressure, girls will actually radiate with the natural happiness you want us to convey.