Picture this: a little girl, running through a field of wildflowers with a smile on her face. She cannot completely control her legs, as she is old enough to know how to walk, but not yet old enough to have honed the skill. She has tiny white sandals on her feet that her toes poke out of, allowing her to feel the earth underneath her. She is doing something that those who are older than her may not think to do; she is being careful, oh, so careful, as to not step on the yellow flowers she is running through. Even though she can barely walk straight, she knows she doesn't want to hurt the flowers, she wants them to continue to live and grow.
She is gentle, and in her young gentleness, there is strength.
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In recent weeks, it has become apparent to me that I have, over the course of my life, apologized for something that is a huge part of what makes me who I am; my sensitivity to everything in this life. I have always thought of this as an Achilles heel of mine, something that was a problem I needed to repair.
I have decided, after some heavy thinking and self reflection, that I will no longer be apologizing for my sensitivity and gentleness. I will not be apologizing for it because it is not a hindrance, a problem or a flaw; it is a gift and a strength that I have been blessed to possess.
It is a gift because I can connect on a more intimate level with others.
It is a strength because I can impact the lives of others and my own life through human interaction and through showing compassion.
As a recently discovered life motto, this quote resonates with me, and I assume also with others who identify as being sensitive. You may feel broken at times because people make you feel like you need to hide your sensitivity, possibly by using the word "sensitive" in a tone that screams "this is a flaw". As a result, you then may feel the need to be "strong" all the time, which to you may mean not showing your emotions as often. In turn, that can make you feel like you need to only care about things from a distance, like you need to tone down the way you express your compassion for the life you live and the people you care about.
No.
That is never a good idea.
A painter does not water down his or her colors to create a more vibrant picture, so you should not water down your compassion in an effort to live a more vibrant life.
However, when you get the feeling that you should alter this part of yourself in order to conform, it is hard not to want to do it, or to not take steps to do it, as we humans crave the feeling of acceptance. Intense compassion and care intimidates people sometimes, and it isn't their fault, and it isn't yours. Each one of us is made differently, and this quality is most definitely not something that is ingrained in everyone or understood by everyone.
In short, it is important to remember that a person who is sensitive to the world around them does not need to change the way they care about the passions of importance in their life. Each person that identifies with sensitivity must know this. It is okay to feel the way you feel, just like it's okay to say what you need to say. (Pun intended.) You deserve to show compassion to your capacity, you truly do. The difference for you is, I believe, that you need to be careful in deciding who you give your time and energy to, for you can become emotionally and physically drained. In accepting this reality, you can then attempt to create a line for the amount of energy you should give, although sometimes that line will be breached, or not met. Not meeting the amount of support someone needs from you can cause problems, because then that person can feel neglected, leading to issues that are just as bad as when you give too much. It is as though, as people of this caliber, we must check ourselves, because we can't just keep giving or not giving enough, or we will not grow individually and others can be hurt.
There is, without question, so much strength in being someone who is sensitive to the world around them. Personally, I see this strength in a number of my close friends even more than I see it in myself. They may only be people to some, but to me, they are such a source of light, strength, and fellowship. Individually, they have been through their own share of hardships because of their capacity to live and love big, and each day they still give, feel, hurt, and sense the world around them as authentically as possible.
Sensitive people deserve care, but it is important remember that not all humans feel things like those who may classify themselves as sensitive do. In your own life, appreciate all kinds of people, those who are more sensitive to things and those who are not. Each kind of person is important, as we all could not attempt to live in harmony together if we were all the same.
As well, remember that the way you individually and uniquely live, care, and love in this world is not wrong or too flawed to be appreciated. You are fearfully and wonderfully made to be exactly the way you are.
Shine on, shine on, shine on.
