Video games have been such a big part of my life that I feel weird that I'm now playing less and less. I'm starting to question myself of the identity of being a gamer. Many gamers have different definitions of what a 'gamer' is and what they ought to do. My definition of it is a person who enjoys and takes part in the act of playing a game. And all types of games are welcomed in that definition. If you only play so-called 'walking simulators' then to me you are a gamer. Now that you have a small glimpse of what my standards are when it comes to who should be called a gamer let me tell you the types of games I enjoy. I'm purely a single-player centrist, I understand the call and excitement that comes with playing with others in a multiplayer game but that jazz just isn't for me. To me, video games are an art and they are quickly proving that the more years go by. I take this stuff seriously. I believe this medium is important and should be held in high esteem just as cinema is. This separates me from the common gamer which only interest might be to have fun for an hour or two. They are not rooting for the advancement of video games as a medium. They don't necessarily care if a new game has astonishing storytelling (which seldom happens) or a new intuitive mechanic, or perhaps wonderful level design. So where am I going with this? What I'm trying to say is that because I'm involved with the 'magic' of what a video game can be I'm still a gamer regardless if I'm spending so little time with them.

Even though I'm playing games less I'm still involved in what the happenings are in the industry. I follow major news about different games coming out. I read opinion pieces of freelance writers of what they thought of a certain game (old or new) and I even watch YouTube videos of people discussing games in general. And I can't forget my beloved podcasts I listen to about game topics.This culture defines me and is a part of me. So I can say now that the standard of "You will grow out of it," does not apply to me anymore. These are the current systems in my possession right now: Nintendo DS Lite, Nintendo 2DS, Playstation 2, Playstation Vita, Xbox 360. I do not have a current gen. system (Wii U, Xbox One, PS4, an optimal PC) because I cannot afford to have one. And that has put me out of the loop of the current discussions in gaming right now when you are basically still playing games from the last generation. That being said I can still have a valid discussion of a game on the current consoles because I read about them all the time. So I'm still relevant. That's not why I read about them, it's just a matter of me being genuinely interested. Despite all of this, I, like many other gamers have an extensive backlog of games that I want to play ranging from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time to something more psychological like Spec Ops: The Line which has influences from one of my favorite books, Heart of Darkness. There's simply too much to play and so little time.

Speaking about time I want to say in my case when I do have time I simply use it to do other things. And if that is not the case usually I'm spending my free time with friends. Which also goes back to my crisis of my identity as a gamer. If I'm not spending time playing video games extensively when I'm fully able to then can I really still be in love with games? My answer is yes. It's just like any other vice. You can love books and not spend a whole lot of time buried in them. You can love to cook without being in the kitchen cooking every night. So what am I playing nowadays you ask? Well, let me tell you. I'm playing a game on my DS Lite that I'm very fond of; Wario Land 4 was a platformer game on the Gameboy Advance. I luckily found it at my local game store for a very decent price. It's like finding a gem when not expecting to. Luckily I still have my DS Lite which is able to play GB Advance games (the last of the Nintendo handhelds that are able to this). Apart from that, I'm playing Dark Souls on my Xbox 360 which is an action RPG with a reputation of being difficult and with strong medieval and mythical influences. Whenever I mention Dark Souls it's like a wave of sentimentality washes over me. This is my first playthrough of the game but I'm absolutely certain that I'm in love with this game and will probably be in love with its future installments which are just as equally highly praised by the gaming press. I cannot wait to write about the game once I finish it so stay tuned for that. And those two games are pretty much what I concentrate on right now. Slowly but surely I end up finishing games. Most of the time I won't touch a game for months and then just start playing it again. That's just the way I do things. It's part of my nature. It gives you a glimpse of my personality.

So no I'm not at a crossroads with games, it just seems that way. I can safely identify as a gamer and have the confidence to back it up. What I'm looking forward to is developers of these games getting out of their comfort zones and truly expanding their horizons and rethinking what a game could be. And that has been happening the last several years but at a slow pace that I'm not entirely satisfied with. So what games am I looking forward to? Mass Effect Andromeda, Cyberpunk 2077, Gears of War 4, Horizon Zero Dawn, Sid Meier's Civilization VI, Cuphead, We Happy Few, Bloodstained Ritual of the Night, Pokemon Sun/Moon, Death Stranding, and the next game that Rockstar Games makes. My body is not ready.