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The 7 Stages Of Every Food Coma

Omg! Food is great! Let's eat so much we can't move. Yes, I'm committing the sin of gluttony, but eh.

Tess Kulikowski

Jan 30, 2017

Savannah College of Art and Design

190

Dreamatic

Ah food, one of the most important sources of life. Everyone loves food, and if you don't there is something wrong with you. I love food. Sometimes, you can eat too much food, leaving you paralyzed with lazyness and happiness. There is nothing better to be unable to get out of bed from a full tummy. Here are the steps to having a successful food paralyzing experience.

1. Pick your food

You are in total control of your experience. Feeling like a huge food coma? Pick heavy foods like Chinese food or maybe a chipotle experience. Looking for not as intense of an journey? Grab the candy of your choosing. Right now, I am into Hershey's cookies and creme bars. If you don't like candy: shame on you.

2. Buy lots of whatever you plan to eat.

Pretty straight forward. Stock up for the feast. BUY ALL THAT YOU CAN!

3. Find a space that you can food coma in

The whole point of the food coma is the amazing gravitational pull you feel towards whatever you are sitting on after the eating is over. Pick a couch, a bed, or something really comfy to stuff your face on.

4. EAT

YOU HEARD ME! EAT!

5. Wait for the feeling

Wait for the food to settle. The best part awaits. Be patient. I believe in you.

6. THE FOOD COMA

It's here! The peace that your body feels from being weighed down by all the food is incredible. No thoughts pass through your brain. All you can do is enjoy the full sensation.

7. SLEEEEEPPPPPP

After the best moment of your life, you slowly drift off in to a happy sleep with dreams of milk shakes and such. A high quality nap that I highly recommend. Your journey with the food coma is over, and you can do it all over again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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