Exams: everyone has to take them, but no one really wants to take them. Unless you enjoy taking exams (congratulations if you do), everyone also goes through the following stages of taking exams:
Stage 1: Denial
This is the stage where the student is aware that he or she has an exam coming up, but refuse to do anything about it.
"This exam's not so soon."
"I can put off studying until later."
"This project is more important than my exam."
Wrong, wrong, and wrong. Silly student, you know that exam is soon. You know you shouldn't put off studying until later. You know that exam is just as important (if not, more important).
This is also when the student knows, deep in his or her heart, that he or she is just finding justification to avoid studying for that exam.
Stage 2: Realization
This stage occurs as the student get closer and closer to your exam date. Student begins to realize that the exam is still on no matter what and that he or she still hasn't studied.
"[insert any expletive]! I have an exam!"
"[More expletives]. That exam's worth [insert percentage] of my final grade."
"[Even more expletives]. I haven't started studying. And it's a few days away."
Other reactions include:
Stage 3: Cramming
Coffee is utilized to extreme amounts as the student goes into study mode. Signs of this stage include loss of sleep, a zombie-like appearance, and long bouts of swearing about the exam.
"The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell."
"What is sleep anymore?"
"Time for another trip to Dunkin'."
Stage 4: Bargaining
It is in this stage that all decisions to procrastinate are regretted. Negotiations arrive in this stage as the student enters a dire state of stress. This often carries into actually taking the exam.
"If I had started to study earlier, I would be less stressed."
"If I had better study habits, my grade would be salvageable."
"[insert string of expletives]."
Stage 5: Acceptance
Student begins to come to terms that procrastination was not helpful in the slightest, and that it may be wiser to not put off studying.
"I will study smarter for the next exam."
"I will not procrastinate. I will not procrastinate."
However, the student also moves on, because he or she knows worth is not defined by a grade.
