The Stages Of Your Mom Not Answering Or Returning Your Calls As Told By Simon Cowell | The Odyssey Online
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The Stages Of Your Mom Not Answering Or Returning Your Calls As Told By Simon Cowell

Voicemail, again, really?

Courtney Warford
May 17, 2016
Central Methodist University
836
The Stages Of Your Mom Not Answering Or Returning Your Calls As Told By Simon Cowell
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You know the drill. You miss a call from your mother and you wonder what it might be about. Is everyone okay? Is there a funny story from home? You swipe and unlock your trusty iPhone and call her back. Lo-and-behold you reach 30 seconds of ringing and are directed to her voicemail. Not once, not twice, not three times, but four, maybe even five. You see the count next to her contact continue to go up and still no answer or return phone call. Was she kidnapped? Is she okay? The world will never know.

For everyone who has experienced this frustration, here are the stages of your mom not answering or returning your call as told by Simon Cowell.

Vexed

Okay, maybe she put her phone down at her desk or she dropped it in the floorboard of her car. Hopefully everything is okay, but please answer.

Annoyed

It's been 8 minutes, mom. I've called three times and you haven't answered. I'm getting a little irritated. A fourth time? Alrighty.

Frustrated

Mom, you called me, it's time for you to pick up your phone. I am your child, your main responsibility. You needed to talk to me, and now I can't get in touch with you.

Angered

AYE, YO MA! PLEASE ANSWER THE PHONE. I HAVE CALLED 10 TIMES. I'm not even letting it send me to voicemail. I'm hanging up and calling again. And again. And again. And again.

Enraged

Alright, I'm going to call until you answer, no matter what. I'm going to blow up your phone. This is getting a little out of hand. You called me, and now I can't get a hold of you. Where did you go? Did you run away? Did you die? Did you forget I exist?

And as an added bonus...

When she does call back...

You mean all you needed was to tell me that the dog went swimming today?



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