My mother is an incredible woman, but it is hard for me to admit I am anything like her. My 12-year-old self rolled her eyes at the thought, but with a little age comes more self-awareness. Now I am able to admit that I am really, truly my mother’s daughter. The realization didn’t happen overnight, though; there are different stages of discovery. It starts out slow, then it hits you like a bus. One day, you see the things you do in a new light, and you see the woman who would do anything for you looking back in the mirror at you.

Here’s a breakdown of the stages of realizing you are your mother:

1. Unawareness

People who haven’t seen you since you were this big say you look like your mom, but you only barely see it. Sure, we might have a similar hair color, but that isn’t 100 percent natural, so it doesn’t count. Relatives comment on little things you do that somewhat resemble things your mom does, but you typically brush it off. Some say ignorance is bliss, and I was floating around life thinking I am so not my mom for far too long.

2. Denial

“I am nothing like her. No way,” you say as all of your relatives shake their heads. “How could I possibly be anything like a woman over twice my age (cue my mother cringing)?”

Joke’s on you.

3. Realization

For me, this process began when I walked downstairs one night to go to dinner with my mom. My dad started laughing before I even noticed my mom and I were wearing nearly identical outfits. We said “You just want to be like me” in unison, and it was terrifying. Your realization will come when you least expect it.

4. Acceptance

At the end of the day, you will see how lucky you are to share so many traits with your mom. You come to terms with the reality that you are just like your mom, and it will only get worse better as you get older.

Mom, our stubbornness makes us clash at times, but because of it I never shy away from speaking my mind and standing my ground. I hate how obsessively neat we can be, but now my room is always (mostly) spotless. I got your stress overplanning and organization too, but it keeps me motivated and on the right track. On top of that, I strive to be as independent and driven as you are. So to everyone who points out I am turning into my mom: thank you. I can’t think of a bigger compliment.