The Stages of Life for your Pants | The Odyssey Online
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The Stages of Life for your Pants

Ah, a new pair of jeans, full of potential hope and yet full of potential heartbreak.

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The Stages of Life for your Pants

Getting a new pair of pants is so exciting! All of this potential for great events, great outfits and great purposes for these blue cotton bad-boys! Unfortunately these great feelings are only temporary as the pants go through life with you. They become worn, rip and you have to sadly toss them out. Here is a list of all the stages and steps you'll go through with them.

1. BRAND STINKIN' NEW, BABY

Oh man, just look! Those jeans fit you perfectly! Not too lose not too tight, the shade is perfect. Shoot, did you even grow a few inches taller in them and lose five pounds when you put them on? Boom! Power of the perfect pants!


You buy them and your entire drive home you are imagining all the potential combinations you could wear with them. The opportunities are a vast meadow of lookin' fly as all get out.

2. The first outting

You have waited for the right moment to showcase your purchase publicly. It is only the biggest event in your life at the moment and you need to be looking sharp. So, you dug into your drawer and extracted the pants, shaking them out with one firm snap.

They look great, you feel great, and you swear people are stopping just to look at those darn fine new pants. You feel pretty darn cool in them and nothing can rain on your parade.

3. You've worn them out and about

You have already worn them out once. They are old, so you wear them for a full week straight without washing them. You want to make sure they do not wear out any faster, and you want them to keep their color. You are wearing them for everything, classes, running errands, church, you name it. They are starting to morph into the next stage in their life.

4. The Favorites

These pants have morphed into your ride and die, your go-to. They are the first pair you see when you need to put on clothes to embrace the day. They are the ones you pick to help you through the tough times and the good times. You still look good in them, but they are not your spunky pants anymore. They are the ones you wear to the bars on Tuesdays when you do no need to look fly, you just need to be one step above gym clothes.

Things are going dandy until one day..... this one fateful day.

5. Is that sunlight??

Your pants have been with you for so long, have held on, have kept you covered in so many situations. Then all of a sudden, you can see light through them. They are on the downhill turn. It is all you can do to keep from tearing up as you remember the good times.

Now you are sitting still, you are walking stiff legged with them slightly apart so your thighs will not rub and cause any more damage. People look at you funny, but deep down, they all know the drill just as well.

6. The first tear

There it is. The day you have been dreading. You feel that little rip and you know just then all the efforts you have been making were for nothing. Your pants have ripped. You shoot a bummed out text to your mom explaining the depressing news. You closely examine the rip, decide that it is small enough, and you keep wearing the pants for a while. They are your work pants!

7. Tear Growth and Jean Modification

The tear has gotten larger and you cannot hide the shame of a ripped pair of pants. You decide to repurpose them! Breaking out scissors, you make your straightest cut.

Shorts.

After admiring your handiwork, you try them on. Then you realize they look awful on you and now you have to throw everything away. Worth a shot though.

You go back to the store to start the cycle again.

The drama we go through for fashion.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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