I've officially applied to 172 jobs and heard back from 0. I knew that this was going to be a long process, but I no idea to this extent.
I saw a tweet that said, "Thank you to all the boys that never texted me back, because I'm now prepared when I don't hear back from jobs." And I 100% agree. I mean just hit me with a nudge or poke or Facebook message, anything. Send me an email that says, "No Marissa, you definitely do not qualify for that Director position you applied for that required 20 years of professional experience." or "No Marissa, your four internships still isn't enough experience for this entry level job."
And I think I've finally hit the point that every dreamer college student like myself dreads. The point where you start applying for jobs that aren't even close to your major. My dream jobs are starting to go on the back-burner, because the startling realization of unemployment is starting to creep up. After I applied for pretty much every media job in New York City, I started to branch out and it's starting to get adventurous. The other day, I applied for an entry level baking assistant position. Why? Because they were hiring college graduates and I figured my countless hours of watching The Food Network qualifies as experience.
One thing that is nice about applying to jobs, is that the process is pretty much the same with every company. So 172 job applications is no problem. Here's a definitive process of applying to a real person job. As told by excellently hand-picked GIFs.
1. When you wake up every morning with an email from Indeed/LinkedIn that has a list of jobs you might be interested in, and reality and responsibility hits you in the face.
They always seem to send it at some ridiculously early hour.
2. Trying to find time in between your classes and school work to sit and apply for jobs.
Those other kids in the library are studying. Not you. You're trying to decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life.
3. When you find the perfect job listing with the perfect location.
4. When you see in the description that it says you need 3-5 years of experience in a professional field.
5. So you decide to apply to it anyways, because apparently if you shoot for the moon you'll land among the stars.
Example: When I said earlier that I applied to a Director's position.
6. When the application asks what you ideal salary would be and you have no idea what a good range is so you just type in random numbers.
One company asked what my cap salary was and I put in 2 million dollars. Shoot for the stars, my friend.
7. When you enter in your work history and you wonder if you should include your high school job at Panera.
You never know, maybe they want someone with You Pick Two experience?
8. When customize your basic cover letter, strategically changing key words like: the company's name and the position you're applying for.
To whom it may concern...Please hire me, please.
9. When you're getting towards the end and wonder what would happen if you said that you were a protected veteran. Honest question, does that positively impact my chances?
10. When you electronically sign the bottom of the application and you hope that you didn't just sign your whole life away.
No one reads the terms of use. No one.
11. When you press submit and you realize that you attached the wrong cover letter to the application.
Another job bites the dust.
