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Relationships

The Space Between A Like And Love

When you look at me I see a love in your eyes that I’ve longed to see my whole life, but then the doubt sets in.

Jude Maboné

Apr 17, 2017

American University

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I almost feel that since we're so young I want to have my heart broken.

But at the same time I look at you and see all of the qualities of a husband.

It's this really weird messed up place between a like and love and I don't know where we are but I know it's somewhere because you remind me of hot tea with milk on a sailboat in Newport.

When I look at you I see us waking up in matching flannel pajamas on Christmas morning racing each other down the stairs as if were are still two little kids waiting to see what Santa Claus left.

When you look at me I see a love in your eyes that I’ve longed to see my whole life, but then the doubt sets in.

I think what if I'm not supposed to be with you? What if I shouldn’t desire something so stable while I'm so young because what if I miss out on an adventure or a fairytale or another chapter for my book?

A great chapter with lots of color and tears and excitement and a love like the love I’ve thought I should be feeling my whole life? A love with slamming doors and rejected phone calls, heavy shoulders and the familiar sting of “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

With you I’m caught between comfort and sensibility and what love should feel like and the familiarly enticing taste of neglect. You tell me it should be an obvious choice because you love me and you want me and you need me?

I’ll tell you that he’s just passionate when the cruel words turn into bruisings.

I’ll tell you that it’s nothing. I’ll tell you that I mean it.

I’ll tell you that I’ll take the frustration, sleepless nights, headaches, ignored messages, and weeks-without-communication-so-that-he-can-clear-his-head-because-he-just-needs-some-space-right-now-and-I’ve-gone-and-messed-things-up-again-so-really-this-is-my-fault-anyway--over ever feeling numb. Maybe this love hurts, but at least I’m feeling something.

These are the things that go through my head when you tell me that you want me. One moment I'm inhaling your affection and the next I’m gasping for air, trying to get my space so I can breathe just as he did. I’m not used to the affection that you shower me with. Someone open the damn window.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Space Between A Like And Love

When you look at me I see a love in your eyes that I’ve longed to see my whole life, but then the doubt sets in.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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