It’s a feeling that creeps up on you. You’re sitting in the peace and quiet of your own room, reading a book or working on homework when it suddenly hits you. It’s like a beacon in the sky, catching your attention and sending your mind racing. You put down your book and stare off into the distance thinking, “Are my friends having fun without me?”
It’s a common occurrence for many college students. Going stir crazy in your dorm room leads to many people questioning what party is happening somewhere and why weren’t they invited. But what about when an introvert feels left out? The common understanding of introvert’s nature is that they enjoy being left alone, but all too often introverts feel unwanted and unloved.
It’s true that many introverts need their time alone to recuperate after lots of social contact. However, may I introduce you to a new concept: the Social Introvert. The Social Introvert, or SI, is often characterized as an introvert who also craves social contact to feel wanted. SIs often find themselves hoping for an invite rather than planning the party. It’s a tough world for an SI, because the feeling of being left out is one that they encounter often.
So, SIs of the world, I’m here to learn you a thing about feeling like your friends are having fun without you. Simply put, they aren’t.
I’ve struggled with that little voice in my head telling me I’m missing out for years. All throughout high school I would wonder if my friends were having sleepovers while I was watching a "Modern Family" marathon with my brother. When I came to college the voice got even louder, to the point where I craved any attention I could get to make up for my thinking I was missing out.
One thing I’ve learned through my struggles as an SI is that while I’m sitting in my room wishing I could get invited to a fun party, my friends are doing the same. It took me a while to buy into this concept, but I’ve found it to be true more often than not. I know it might be hard to be the one to pick up the phone and make the plans, but sometimes it’s what you have to do if you want to avoid that stomach churning feeling of being left out.
The truth is, everyone in college feels left out and unwanted, even the ones who seem to be surrounded by friends. There’s always some event, some party, some dinner that someone wasn’t invited to, and that’s okay. You have to learn to make your own plans with your own friends, and not rely on people to make plans for you.
SIs, I would like to present you with a challenge today. I would like to challenge you to give someone a call and make the plans for the evening for once. You’ll feel dumb and your hands might start shaking, but the more you try, the better you’ll get at it. Just remember that there’s always another lonely soul that you didn’t realize was struggling as much as you, and by reaching out to them you might form a relationship that could last a lifetime. Good luck, kids.
