This is a list of the things I never had the guts to tell you when you moved away...until now.

Dear Sissy,

1. I miss you. I miss you so much. Even though we are seven years apart in age, you always found a way to include me in the things you did. Whether it was a sister’s night out, or going out with you and your friends, or just sitting at home watching old reruns of Friends, you always made sure to include me. I miss you so much.

2. I wish you would have been here. You moved away when I was a senior in high school. It was so strange and sad having so many of my last memories in high school that you weren’t able to go to. When I had senior night for basketball, you sent me flowers, which I thought was honestly the sweetest thing ever since I knew you couldn’t make it. Graduation was really hard on me. When your amazing husband graduated law school on the same day I graduated high school, I knew you didn’t have a choice. It would have just been so much better if you would have been there, even though I understood. While I know we can’t always attend the actual milestones in our lives, I will always carry you with me in my heart, wherever life takes me.

3. I miss Big Bang Theory marathons. Almost every night before bed, we would both get in our jammies, and both of us would pile up in your bed watching the series of Big Bang Theory on your TV. Mom and Dad aren’t as cool to watch television shows for hours with (shhh…don’t tell them!).

4. Oh, the holidays. The holidays are especially challenging. Married life for you means bouncing from family to family, making sure you put in equal time everywhere. Christmas was always my favorite when I was growing up. Not because of the presents that I was so ready to dig into that were hiding under the tree. Not because I got to see all the sides of my family that I rarely got to see. Christmas was my favorite because of you. The weekend following Thanksgiving we would put up all the Christmas decorations, including the tree and much more. We would dance around the room, make jokes towards each other, and laugh until our stomachs were tight. When Christmas Eve would finally arrive, we would both sit by the tree, in our new jammies that Santa gave us, and take turns reading the Night Before Christmas, and then as a family, we would sing Christmas carols in the dim light of the tree. Then both of us together would go to sleep for the night in your bed in your room. Those are some of my favorite memories, because they remind me how blessed I am to have you. Now, that you are all grown up, I know those things may never happen again. I’m honestly okay with that, because now I get to cherish those memories forever.

5. You are my role model. Basically since I was born, you have been the person I looked up to. Whether it was help with my math homework (because you’re a genius), or how effortless it was for you to do great, or going to you for advice on relationships, you always had the right words to comfort me. Even when I was in pain, you knew exactly what to do to make me feel better. You never hesitated to call me out when I was being stubborn or full of crap, because sometimes I needed that reminder that life didn’t revolve around me. For every single thing I needed, you were always there. You are such a beautiful person, inside and out, and I am so thankful to call you my older sister.

All in all, life without you at home has been a challenge at times. You have been gone for two years now, and it still doesn't feel the same. Regardless, I want you to know how proud I am of you. You are the best sister in the entire world, and I know I don’t tell you that enough. I miss you so much more than I think you even realize, but it makes me cherish the times you are home that much more. Thank you for always being someone I could count on. I really owe you one. I love you Sissy, and I always will.

Love always,

Your Punk