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Zodiac Signs As Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Sometimes you just need to let a cookie tell you about yourself.

Holly Schulz

May 14, 2018

University of North Dakota

342

Wikipedia

I hoard fortune cookies and their fortunes. Hoard. Them. I may have a slight problem, but I just can't stop. I love fortune cookies.

It finally got to the point that during my freshman year of college, I had 29 fortunes sitting on my desk (which may not seem like a lot, but that's just how many I'd gone through in the past week) and I had nothing to do with them.

I'm a bit of a clean freak, and this mess of tiny papers in an unorganized pile was really getting to me, but I just could not throw them away, so my astrology-obsessed roommate jokingly suggested that we sort them by zodiac signs, and we (read: she) did. This was what we got.

Aries

I think and that is all that I am.

Taurus

First to start does not mean the first to cross the finish line.

Gemini

He that can’t endure the bad will not live to see the good.

Cancer

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

Leo

He who is afraid of doing too much does too little.

Virgo

Hard work without talent is a shame, but talent without hard work is a tragedy.

Libra

If you are wise with your decisions, good things are bound to come.

Scorpio

Courage comes from suffering.

Sagittarius

Change is happening in your life, so go with the flow.

Capricorn

If absolute can be defined, then absolute is not absolute anymore.

Aquarius

Facts are cheap, information is plentiful - knowledge is precious.

Pisces

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.

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Zodiac Signs As Fortune Cookie Fortunes

Sometimes you just need to let a cookie tell you about yourself.

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

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We are well aware that it's not even Thanksgiving yet.

1. Decking the halls AKA decorating before Thanksgiving.

2. Playing Christmas music all day long.

3. Christmas movie marathons.

4. Getting offended when someone hates Christmas.

5. Drinking holiday themed drinks.

6. Buying ugly Christmas sweaters.

7. Using every chance to talk about Christmas.

8. Baking Christmas cookies.

Don't waste your time trying to write that paper when there are so many more interesting things you could be doing.

1. Meditate

2. Groom yourself

3. Eat lots of chocolate

4. Go for a walk

5. Netflix and chill

Who could be a better friend than your own sister?

1. She's your number one fan…and you're her's.

2. It feels like you guys can communicate telepathically at times with just a look.

3. Fights last for about two minutes because you find something funny and have to show them.

4. Concerts in your car are a regular thing.

5. You have an innumerable amount of inside jokes that are always funny.

6. When she gets clothes it's like you're getting new clothes too.

7. She's seen you at your worst and doesn't judge you…but has taken pictures to remind you.

8. She always knows just what to say to cheer you up…or what food (or drink) to make you if words aren't working.

9. She's the first person to jump to your defense.

10. You have a permanent best friend.

You're gonna make it after all.

1. Google is your best friend.

2. Don't be afraid to say no!

3. Justify your actions/purchases.

4. Call mom.

5. Remember to do things that make you happy.

I'll be the first one to admit I'm addicted to Starbucks.

1. You have a Gold Card

2. You know how to use the mobile app like it’s the back of your hand

3. You mobile order is saved and ready to order with the push of a button

4. The baristas know you by name

5. You can’t get through the day without at least one Starbucks

6. The amount of caffeine that you can consume in a day scares most people

7. Most people around you question why you go to Starbucks everyday

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