Kid Cudi shocked a lot of people when he announced that he was checking himself into a rehabilitation center to get help with his anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
Cudi posted about his decision to seek help on Facebook:
"It's been difficult for me to find the words to what I'm about to share with you because I feel ashamed. Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I've been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.
Yesterday I checked myself into rehab for depression and suicidal urges.
I am not at peace. I haven't been since you've known me. If I didn't come here, I would've done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. Theres a raging violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax. My anxiety and depression have ruled my life for as long as I can remember and I never leave the house because of it. I cant make new friends because of it. I don't trust anyone because of it and Im tired of being held back in my life. I deserve to have peace. I deserve to be happy and smiling. Why not me? I guess I give so much of myself to others I forgot that I need to show myself some love too. I think I never really knew how. Im scared, im sad, I feel like I let a lot of people down and again, Im sorry. Its time I fix me. Im nervous but ima get through this.
I wont be around to promote much, but the good folks at Republic and my manager Dennis will inform you about upcoming releases. The music videos, album release date etc. The album is still on the way. Promise. I wanted to square away all the business before I got here so I could focus on my recovery.
If all goes well ill be out in time for Complexcon and ill be lookin forward to seeing you all there for high fives and hugs.
Love and light to everyone who has love for me and I am sorry if I let anyone down. I really am sorry. Ill be back, stronger, better. Reborn. I feel like shit, I feel so ashamed. Im sorry.
I love you,
Scott Mescudi"
Shocking to some but true Cudi fans weren't all that surprised…
When Kid Cudi dropped his first mixtape “A Kid Named Cudi” in 2008, I was a sophomore at Parma Senior High School. At that time there was very little new going on in the Cleveland area music scene.
So when my friend Justin texted me and told me to check out some guy named Kid Cudi saying “he’s from Cleveland” I hopped on Limewire right away. I downloaded the tape. All it took was one track and I was hooked.
I thought it was so cool to hear someone rapping about Cleveland and Ohio. For the first time, I felt pride in where I was from. I remember listening to “Cleveland Is the Reason” “Man on the Moon” “Embrace the Martian” “Down & Out” and “The Prayer” religiously.
In the next two years based off the momentum of his mixtape alone, Cudi was signed by Kanye West and dropped his debut album Man on the Moon: The End of Day. The album sold 104,419 copies in its first week, came in at No. 4 on the Billboard charts, and landed Cudi three grammy nominations. Cudi also collaborated with many renowned artist like Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg, and Travis Barker. A kid from Cleveland made it. It gave the rest of us hope.
A large part of why Cudi was able to reach such heights and establish a cult like following so quickly was because of the vulnerability of his music. Cudi played a vital role in bringing forth a new age of rap where you didn't have to be gangster. He focused more on his emotions, feelings, and family. He discussed his sadness, anxiety, and depression which at the time wasn't exactly prevalent in hip-hop.
It goes all the way back to the very first track on Cudi’s mixtape named "A Kid Named Cudi." The song “Down & Out” features the lyrics “do you want to be him? Think twice you'd commit suicide trying to read my mind.” Throughout the tape Cudi goes on about drowning himself in substances to deal with his pain. On the sixth track “The Prayer” he talks about feeling alone and even sings about being ready for his own funeral.
Cudi continued to focus on his depression and anxiety on his debut album which was broken up into acts. The second act “Rise of the Night Terrors” features three songs that really get into Cudi’s depression “ Solo Dolo” “The Heart of a Lion” and “My World”. Throughout this act, he talks of how cold the world is, about needing someone to save him, and his low self-esteem.
Over the years Cudi has continuously put himself out there and spoke openly about all the battles and demons he faces so that his fans wouldn't feel alone with theirs. As Cudi put it himself, “I tried to think about myself as a sacrifice just to show the kids they ain’t the only ones who up at night.”
Anxiety affects more than 40 million adults in the US. Depression affects more than 15 million Americans. On average there are 117 suicides per day. Each year 42,773 Americans die by suicide and for every one suicide there are 25 more attempts and suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the US.
Often people are too afraid to ask for help because of the fear of what others may think, which sadly leads to many young lives being taken too soon. Kid Cudi has put himself out there once again for the greater good. Instead of trying to hide the fact that he’s getting help, like many other celebrities do, he laid it all out there for everyone. Cudi coming out and admitting that he needs help will hopefully encourage other young people dealing with depression to do the same.
Thank you to Kid Cudi for making me proud to be from Cleveland, Ohio and showing us all that if you stay true to yourself anything is possible. Thank you for all the music over the years that has helped so many of us get through difficult times. Finally, thank you for putting yourself out there and potentially helping thousands of others get the help they need.
Get well soon Cudder. Peace, love, and happiness.
