If you're an ignorant skank like me, you probably thought that there are only six kinds of moons: crescent, half, full, forest moon of Endor, moon moon, and someone's bare ass.

But luckily for me, and now you, someone came along to ROCK. MY. WORLD. For I have learned that there are not merely six, but rather seventeen kinds of moons. One for most months of the year in addition to seven "special" moons.

So let's dive in to some of the various kinds of moons, and see how they got their names.

One of the notable calendar moons is that of May - the Flower moon. It was given its name because flowers often bloom during this time. It's like the old saying goes, "April meteor showers brings May Flower Moons."

The next notable moon is the one that moons in the month of June. During this time of the year the moon stays close to the horizon which gives it an amber hue, thereby earning the nickname, "Honey Moon." This is not to be confused with the honeymoon newlyweds celebrate following their marriage. That honeymoon refers to the "sweet" stage of bliss that they are in before the decades long process of realizing that they actually hate each other. Fun!

One of the more interesting "special" moons is the Cheshire Moon. This moon's crescent appears to look like a smile or bowl because at the extreme points of Earth's orbit, the alignment of the sun, Earth, and Moon cause the moon's crescent's edges to point up instead of down.

I think it looks like the universe's toenail. But Toenail Moon doesn't really have a nice ring to it, does it?

The last moon that I'll talk about is the Black Moon. This isn't even a moon, but rather an occurrence in which there is no full moon in a calendar month. This is only possible during the month of February.

So I guess you could say February is the exact opposite of the National Plumber's Convention. In February, you can go a whole month without seeing a moon, where as at the National Plumber's Convention you can't go two seconds without seeing five "white moons."

That's all for this week. Stay tuned for next week's article: 10 things you didn't know about Harambe.