The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper

Struggles every student goes through when trying to write academically.

43
The Seven Steps Of Writing A Paper
Word Press

Recently, I did what all students should avoid at all costs. I binge wrote an eight-page Shakespeare paper. During this trying time I documented the "stages" of my struggle, these are those stages.

Stage One: Excitement. You’ve opened up a new word document and have proudly displayed your name in the top right-hand corner. The font is set to Times New Roman and you’re all ready to double space it up. The empty page before you doesn’t bother you, it’s full of possibilities. You can do anything. Write anything. Be anything. You are a scholarly genius just waiting to show your professor your superb writing skills. Crack your knuckles and buckle down to kick this paper’s literary ass.

Stage Two: Doubt. You totally suck at writing. What are you even doing right now? You call that a thesis?! That’s a sentence full of fluff and stupidity and you know it. Your sources are complete crap. Do they even have anything to do with your topic? Did you seriously just cite a Wikipedia article? Are you trying to fail? Your professor is going to laugh at you. This is pitiful. You’re horrible. Just drop out of school right now.

Stage Three: Determination. Alright, you’ve got this. You can do this. Throw on some motivational music and write this thing! You are a strong, literary genius who don’t need no 4.0 to be a great and powerful human.

Stage Four: Procrastination. You’ve written a great introduction. It’s attention grabbing. It uses words with five syllables. You’ve got a few semi-colons in there that seem like they’re doing stuff. You’re golden. You’ve got so much time to spare. Just pop Netflix open on your laptop and kick back with some Taco Bell. You’ll totally be fine spending a few hours away from your paper. Take all the Buzzfeed quizzes you want. Stalk all the people you went to high school with on Facebook: Who’s pregnant? Who’s married? Who’s high off their ass 24/7? You've got nothing to worry about.

Stage Five: Panic. Why did you spend a whole day watching "Chopped"? You are going to fail! You’re not even done with page one! You only have a subpar introduction and a crappy thesis! There is not enough fluff in the world to make this paper worthy of even a 3.0. Your professor is going to fail you! There’s no way you’ll get an extension you’ve had a whole month to do this thing. It’s due in a day! What were you thinking?

Stage Six: Screw it. It’s whatever. It’s just worth 60 percent of your grade. You can always take easy electives to get it back up. Just write something and turn it in. Need to write two more pages and don’t have anything to talk about? Well, good thing you’ve got some sources because you’re about to quote everything. Don’t have a source to back up your point? Screw it. Just make it sound like you know what you’re talking about. It’ll be fine. It’s whatever.

Stage Seven: Relief. You did it. You’ve turned it in. You don’t have to worry about it anymore. Who cares if your professor hates it? Who cares if you hate it? It’s over and done with. Go home, make some Easy Mac, and watch some cartoons for a few hours until you remember that you’ve got a Stats essay due at midnight.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition

10 ways to prepare for finals week—beginning with getting to the library.

1051
How To Prepare For The Library: Finals Edition
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

It’s that time of year again when college students live at the library all week, cramming for tests that they should have started studying for last month. Preparing to spend all day at the library takes much consideration and planning. Use these tips to help get you through the week while spending an excessive amount of time in a building that no one wants to be in.

Keep Reading...Show less
girl roommates
StableDiffusion

Where do we begin when we start talking about our roommates? You practically spend every moment with them, they become your second family and they deal with you at your best and at your absolute worst. They are there to make you laugh just a little harder, cry a little less and make each day a little better. We often forget to thank them for the little things that they do to make college even a tiny bit easier and more fun. This list of 26 things are what you should thank your roommates for right this minute and every day that you live with them.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

20 Thoughts While Studying For Finals

I may or may not be stressing right now.

1978
Thoughts While Studying For Finals
StableDiffusion


That time of the semester has arrived once again, finals. The worst week ever. Who thought it was a good idea for all your classes to have exams all in the same week? Definitely not me. Here's 20 thoughts you may have studying for finals.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Disney magic for New Year!

The "Happiest Place on Earth" has a lot of characters with some pretty great advice.

6835
Disney magic kingdom castle on new years
StableDiffusion

Disney movies are well known and very popular in today's world. Although many people appreciate the plot and the storyline, not many people appreciate the wisdom these characters possess. Every Disney movie has unique advice that can be applied to everyday life. Here are 11 Disney quotes to help start your New Year off right:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

40 Gift Ideas for the Indecisive

It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. But also a time of stressing over the perfect gift.

121047
Christmas gifts around a tree
StableDiffusion

It's officially December. There is less than a month of 2024, and I still feel like yesterday was summer. Now comes the merriest time of the year, the Christmas season.

Everyone has been waiting for this time of year since mid-October (which is way too early, in my opinion) or before. It's a time of love, family, memory-making, and gift-giving. A lot of times when I ask friends and family what they want, I get a lot of "I don't know" or "I don't care."

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments