As a college kid going back to Disney World for the first time in years, the primary feeling you get is a mixture of awe, nostalgia, and plain exuberance. But there are those, you begin to notice, who aren’t exactly on the same wavelength as you when it comes to exploring the park. Laugh, be annoyed, or enjoy them, you know them, and they know you.
1. The Family Man
He’s got a kid hanging from his chest, one over his shoulders, and he’s pushing two in front of him in a side-by-side stroller. He’s a human battering ram, and you better get out of his way.
2. The “Too Young to Remember Any Of This” Kid
She’s two, three at best, meeting every single princess and riding everything with Fastpasses, but you ask yourself “Why? She’ll forget it in a few years!” Bonus points for meltdowns at character greetings.
3. The Shopaholic
Armed with a Disney brand credit card, she prowls the cookie-cutter gift stores religiously, seeking every piece of Snow White merchandise for her niece at home. She usually doesn’t ride anything, and has at least one Disney-affiliated Burberry purse.
4. The Tee-Shirt Herd
Yes, we know that this is your Disney Vacation 2016, and that you’re Paw-Paw, but we don’t care. We don’t really care about the names of the other twelve members of your family who came along, either. Think of all the time you spent making those tee shirts that could have been used enjoying your actual vacation!
5. The Superfan
Dressed head-to-toe in Disney gear, they walk into the park like they own it (and they might own a share, considering how much merchandise they have), can sing along to every Disney song, and will effectively go on every ride during the course of the day, which is really quite impressive.
6. The Planner
She’s running with family in tow to get to their 2:15 Fastpass to Splash Mountain followed by a 2:30 meet-and-greet with Ariel, followed by a 2:50 lunch at the Crystal Palace, followed by a 4:30 Fastpass to Buzz Lightyear’s Spaceranger Spin...every moment of every day is mapped out like this. It’s a wonder she doesn’t overheat.