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The Selfish Years

Do we really have anything figured out at 20?

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The Selfish Years
Huffington Post

It's a weird stage in your life once you hit your 20s. At 18 you are officially considered an adult even though there a still a handful of things that you cannot do for a few more years. Once you hit twenty you face a whole new slew of struggles and questions such as "What am I doing with my life?" "What am I supposed to be doing?" "How will I do this all on my own?" Fortunately, you're not alone; I'm another one of those twenty-year-olds who's flailing around helplessly.

The biggest thing that runs through my mind is "Am I doing this right?" Balancing my schoolwork, trying to work multiple jobs and having a somewhat normal social life feels like a circus act in itself and often has me wondering if this is what a functioning adult looks like. Of course, if I were to complain about this to any older adult I would hear "well in my day I was working 500 hours at work, a stacked class load, oh and I owned a house when I was your age." ...Alright, that makes me feel so much better. Trying to ask your friends how they think you're doing gets you nowhere either because they're in their own bubble of panic.

As I near 21 I realize that my constant questions and worries about how I'm doing at this whole "adult thing" will never go away and I'm only gonna cause myself to get gray hair by 25. Instead of spending the rest of my 20s freaking out, I've decided to be selfish.

Now I know that sounds bad, but I don't mean it like you think. By selfish I mean I want to spend this time to figure out what I need, what I want, etc. This is the prime time for me to try as many different things before I'm working my 9-5 job with a family. I want to discover what it is that makes me truly me, as cliche as that sounds. I don't want to be like anyone else and try to form myself to this mold of what the "normal" functioning adult appears to be. I don't think anyone really figures it out ever, they just get a little better at bullshitting their way through it. One of the favorite things my dad has ever told me is that he's still learning every day and he's 50. If he still hasn't gotten it all figured out, then why should I?

To my fellow 20-something-year-olds, as long as you are alive and happy, you are doing well. Don't try to rush this time, take it day by day and enjoy the experiences life is giving you. One day you're going to look back and realize you are a better person because of it.

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