Growing up with a twin, there is one question people will always ask you: “What’s it like being a twin?” a question that to this day still boggles my mind. How people expect an answer to this I have no clue, but you try to answer out of politeness by saying, “It’s cool... I guess”. But today, I’ve decided to give the inside scoop on what it was really like growing up with a twin.
Though, like everyone else, I remember very little about my toddler years, I think it’s safe to say that this was our “double mint twins” stage.
We shared everything from a room to toys, and, like most parents with multiples, my mom dressed us up so we were spitting images of each other. I mean, it’s practically a twin birthright. They have to dress you the same because 1. it’s adorable, and 2. what better way to make it difficult for everyone to figure out which one you are? As adorable as all of this was, I can’t help but feel as though it left us striving to be seen as two different people. I remember one time, we got the same shoes and I cut hers because I wanted to be different. Let’s just say this was the beginning of a slippery slope.
As we grew older we were, or at least I was, more determined to have separate personalities. Finally allowed to choose our own clothing, I was going to be my own person. If we got the same shoes, I wanted different laces. Which sounds lame now, but when you’ve been sharing everything since day one, different shoe laces are a big deal! I adopted more of a “you can’t sit with us” vibe, and we grew apart. I wanted my own friends, clothes, room and my own life. As a result, we began to fight more often, and when people asked what it was like to be a twin, I said, “It’s whatever.” Sure she was my sister, but we weren’t attached at the hip or anything.
Despite all of this, there were always moments when we showed just how strong our connection was.
There were moments when we would say the same thing at the same time and high-five each other for it. And moments when one of us would go away without the other, and we'd instantly feel lonely. Or if one of us was in trouble, the other came running to help.
It was almost like we had gotten so used to being twins that we took it for granted. And every time that bond was tested, we realized just how important it was. Unfortunately, at our age, we were NEVER going to admit that to anyone. Especially to our mom, who knew all along and called us out every single time.
Fast forward to college, and everything changed. Between our parents’ divorce, me moving away, and us following different paths in school, we finally got the separation that we claimed we wanted, and realized the grass was definitely not greener on the other side. I will never forget how much I cried when I moved into my sorority house. This was the first time I had ever truly been separated from my twin, and it was hard.
Living there made me realize just how similar and unique we were. I mean, there was nobody there to bug when I was bored or to watch "Adventure Time" with. Sure my sorority sisters were great, but they weren’t my twin. Feeling the same way, my twin actually ended up joining my sorority so we could be close again. Coincidentally, she became my Grand-Little. We were so similar that the woman I bonded with and chose to be my Little bonded with my twin and wanted her for a Little. At this point, I think we truly accepted that we really were attached at the hip and, more importantly, we were best friends. We thrived off of each other, and the more we embraced that, the stronger our connection got. A connection that, to this day, continues to grow stronger.
So to sum up my answer, being a twin is multiple things. It’s being born with a partner in crime and arch nemesis at the same time. It’s being forced to share material possessions while growing up, and willingly sharing life’s biggest moments and memories when you’re all grown up. It’s knowing that no matter what, you’ll always have someone to annoy, have adventures with, argue with and, if you ever get the urge, dress up the same as. It has its ups and downs, but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
