Not often do you connect with the people who keep you locked in school for seven hours a day--but, I did. I spent two years in a public school that I struggled to enjoy every day. I hated the thought of walking in there every morning. This is a small town high school, I was supposed to love it. I should have been ecstatic to go to lunch and see friends, go to football games and see the same faces every day. Instead, I feared for the fact that I would be judged like I had been the day before. I was afraid that I would be called "anorexic" again, or hear the occasional "whore" joke. I walked through those halls portraying one of the most high-spirited kids there, but it was all a lie.
My junior year, I transferred to a small Christian school. I will admit, I was hesitant at first. I had never really paid much attention to the thought of a God who had complete control of my life. To be completely honest, that thought petrified me. I went in with an open mind and became a completely new person. Not only did I gain four of the most amazing friends that anyone cold have wished for, but I gained mentors. I had connections with teachers that I had never even known possible--these teachers let me cry, they let me laugh and they let me learn to love.
These five women introduced me to something much greater than you or I-- Jesus Christ. I realized that we love because he first loved us, (1 John 4:19). I was never thrown in feet first and expected to swim; I got help understanding things every step along the way. I remember days where I would come home from public school and feel so empty. I felt like I was so alone and I was unable to be loved by anyone other than my family. Let me tell you, they changed everything. I cannot say that enough times, they honestly changed everything. They taught me how to be okay with who I was and what I was capable of. They taught me that I always had a second family to come home to. I had always put up walls and they found ways to tear down those walls. I don't even think they knew that they did, and I don't think they know how much of a difference they made in my life. So, to Mrs. Bremner, Mrs. Britton, Mrs. Whitlow, Mrs. Bleach and Mrs. Jamara:
Thank you for accepting me for me. Thank you for not giving up on me, even when you were presented with many opportunities to do so. If you do not realize all that you've done in me, I hope you one day will.
and to my dawgz:
Thank you for dealing with me, but most of all, thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for letting me in and making me always feel loved. I can't begin to imagine who I would have been had I not ended up here.
however, 'twas the night before school (again), so to all a good night.