Over the years marriage has evolved with the heavy social influence of incoming generations. This has caused the definition or understanding of marriage to change constantly, which then leads to people picking sides and arguing which side is better. Yes, because marriage is a general concept that has one right and wrong answer. I’m confident that the mistake in that mindset is already obvious, but if not let me just state that life isn’t black and white. There aren’t clear sides, and if marriage is such an integral part of life as many make it, then it too is not a clear cut topic. Many assume that marriage is a taboo topic with younger generations or that the “millennial mindset” has marred the image of marriage but let me break down why this is wrong.

First of all, having one image of marriage is dangerous. To get technical for a moment, marriage by definition is “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship (historically and in some jurisdictions specifically a union between a man and a woman)” (Oxford Dictionary). Aside from the parenthetical side note, marriage is basically a recognized union. Of course, the status of recognized is based on individual opinion, but that’s the main point. If the base of marriage is valued at an individual point, so should the rest of it. In the end, a difference of opinions is just that, it shouldn’t continue to be a fight to find one true answer.

This brings up the second point, which is the social evolution of the topic. If the definition is based on an individual’s perspective there is no need to generalize an entire demographics’ opinion. Yes, the principle of the majority is what is being used to define a generation’s likes/dislikes and opinions, however, that shouldn’t be used for argument’s sake. If it were to be used for an argument then the principle rule of debates needs to be remembered, which is: know the opposing side’s main discussion point. Educating oneself about the main debate topic is how both sides know what to point out, but more importantly, it provides an understanding for a point that may be overlooked. It may be easy to point out the discrepancies between generations and their (majority ruled) preferences, but there are explanations behind those preferences. The “Baby Boomer” generation, those aged between 52 and 70, prioritized marriage and held it at such a high regard, in a way they immortalized the idealized “sanctity of marriage”. This thought process was handed down by the previous generation, but was able to flourish with the Boomer generation because of the time frame. The Boomer generation was born post-World War II when America was enjoying the “Golden Age of Capitalism”. It was a period of financial prosperity due to the massive increase in factory employment, production, and “having an edge in productivity” (In the Belly of the Beast-Pt 1). This push for growth stemmed from the industrial productivity established prior in order to support WW2. When the economy flourished the largest stress post-depression age was lifted off the shoulders of every American and when a predominant stress is released the other values of the “American Dream” can be pursued. All this means is that now that money wasn’t a problem “perfect men” easily pursued their “perfect woman” and settled into the “perfect household” with children. So fall in love once, court them for a few months, get married young, have kids, and then truly enjoy life. Or at least that’s what they thought.

The prime issue is these actions were done at a time of a large endorphin high for the nation as a whole. Everyone was walking around with metaphorical rose- colored glasses and could make young, hasty decisions because things had finally calmed down. It was a true post-war celebration, but the effects have lasted longer than the endorphin rush. The opposing side or generation are the millennials. The generations in between weren’t truly affected because sides were clearly taken. Either the “sanctity of marriage” image was continued and the cycle of marriage and kids and rinse & repeated. But now the kids of these transitory generations are feeling every effect and in large degrees. Marrying young and having kids cannot be the ideal goal for young adults anymore because the economic situation is no longer the same. Millennials are facing different obstacles compared to the Boomers and that will have an effect. The same way post-war success caused Boomers to feel comfortable to take a large step, post-recession economic struggles are making Millennials take larger steps back. Young marriages may have been great during the honeymoon phase, but slowly as Generation X came in, the effect of young marriages was felt. Not knowing your partner fully and facing significant financial struggles is an immense problem. It causes excruciating strain on any relationship and if the only foundation is young love, then the results are self-explanatory; the love remains young.

The sanctity of marriage has completely changed once again, as it has to. Priorities have changed based on economic, political, and social growth. Just like how marriage is no longer exclusively heterosexual, it no longer is the largest priority in life for younger generations. To be quite frank, it can’t be. But this isn’t to say that someone is wrong if marriage is a goal in the young foreseeable future. But majority ruled opinion is that marriage is on the furthest back burner, and that is because individual growth and stability are so highly viewed. Why wouldn’t it be? Seeing the evolution and status of marriages from the former generations has the biggest effect emotionally and mentally on young adults. “How can you grow strongly with your partner if you can’t even stand on your own two feet” has become the general consensus and argument to push marriage off. This doesn’t mean that the sanctity of marriage is being ruined or has died in the era of the Boomers, but rather has evolved. It has evolved in such a way as to envelop the individual health of the public, which only means that the sanctity of marriage can grow.

Change is not bad, change does not mean that everything that was once perfect is now destroyed or that values have changed. Progress is not a linear growth from one point onward. The world is changing at a rapid pace, ideas will too, and if people’s understanding of that doesn’t change then large parts of the world will be stuck in a rut.