That moment. That single moment when you look up from your “perfectly organized” planner and realize the thing you dreaded most is finally here: your essay is due tomorrow. How did you let this happen? How were you so foolish that you put this off? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?? Well, you’ll survive, but not without going through an emotional roller coaster.
1. Caffeine
A natural performance booster for many, caffeine becomes the holy grail of writing that synthesis paper on the human condition. Whether your drink of choice is black coffee or Coca-Cola, you’ll need this elixir of life to get you through the day.
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2. Paragraph One
There’s something about an introductory paragraph that really gives off a false pretense for how long this writing process will take. You find yourself speeding through, as there is no real research in a “this is what my paper is about.” You find yourself exuding confidence as you type vigorously.
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Body/Research Paragraphs
Research? Wait, I have to have three reliable sources? Quotes? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? Just like that, you are stuck staring at your computer screen, fear enveloping your academic soul. Quickly you pick up your book, trying desperately to remember the passage your professor fawned over a few days prior. AHA! You’ve found the passage, but wait, what was the significance? And just like that, the hours of this all night seem to tick by faster and faster.
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Study Break
You suddenly hear your phone bing and can’t help the urge to check. Oh, a new Instagram follower you say? Well, now you have to look through all the photos on your feed, and maybe Twitter as well. And just like that, you look up and realize it is 3am, and at any moment you are going to explode if you don’t shove all the cookies into your mouth.
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The Philosopher
There is something about typing an essay in the wee hours of the morning that turns us all into philosophers on the human condition. Suddenly the deep thoughts and metaphors come pouring out of your fingers as you type about that one golden quote you struck when flipping through your book for the millionth time.
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Finale
As the last words are typed, the sun is breaking over the horizon, and a sigh of relief exudes your body. The battle has been won. The paper has been completed. The symphony is no more. It is time you take your bow as you submit your essay. Your head hits the pillow, and you know this short slumber will be the best of your life.
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Alarm
What is that wretched noise? Wait, it’s music. Why is there music blaring? Oh, wait, it’s an alarm. Wait, it’s my alarm! I’m going to be late for class!
And with that, your heavy eye lids spring open as you rush to throw on clean clothes and start what is sure to be a long and tiresome day. But feel comforted young student, for you have won. A pat on the back never did anyone harm for congratulations.
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