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Politics and Activism

The Roast of Kim Jong-un

Kim Jong-un and his stupid haircut can't seem to fire a nuclear missile correctly.

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The Roast of Kim Jong-un
news.com.au

This week, North Korea tried to shoot off a ballistic missile, and it failed. Again. North Korea has a pattern of grandiose plans of world domination that go out with a whimper instead of the intended bang.

For years, North Korea has been trying to show the world just how tough they are by threatening to nuke people. Kim Jong-un is a big part of that. The youngest son of Kim Jong-il, Kim Jong-un has been constantly threatening the US and their allies in the South Pacific. North Korean propaganda the US is imperialist scum and should be wiped off the face of the planet, and most North Koreans are too scared of being shot or being forced into hard labor to say otherwise.

News flash for North Korea: Communism ain't what it used to be. The only remaining Communist countries in the world are North Korea, Cuba, China, Vietnam and Laos. However, China and Cuba have been open to trade and more accepting of the Western world, considering that strict Communism ruined both of their countries' economies at some point, and turned to Western free trade for help. North Korea refuses to do this, and continues to suffer.

Why does North Korea hate us in particular? Well, it's mostly the Korean War, which has technically been going on since 1951. A ceasefire is the only thing keeping the Korean Peninsula from erupting in all-out war, which the US would have to be a part of. North Korea wants very badly to take over South Korea, and they have the means, but the war would most likely destroy both countries.

So what the hell is Kim Jong-un doing? I don't even think he knows. He tries to make North Korea look like an awesome and threatening country, but is it? Most of their citizens live in fear and without electricity. Defectors in China and South Korea exist and want to overthrow the government of North Korea.

All the money that is raked in by the government is spent on weapons programs and building monuments to a regime that doesn't work for anyone except those with connections. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and North Korea is too far gone to change without force.

Things may change in North Korea eventually, but not without the support of the US and South Korea. We can't let this go on. We can't let North Korea threaten us anymore. We can't let millions of people starve and suffer so that one day, the government that controls them will become strong enough to nuke Tokyo, Manila, Guam or even Los Angeles.

Enough is enough. I'm not a war tactician, so I'm not sure how to go about doing this, but North Korea needs to be dealt with before something bad happens.

However, one thing we can always do is make fun of the Supreme Leader himself. First off, North Korea's education system is so bad, his father sent him to a private school in Europe under a pseudonym. When Kim Jong-un was 18, he lived a very lavish lifestyle on the backs of near-enslaved North Korean citizens. Last April, he reportedly had his defense minister executed by anti-aircraft cannons for sleeping in his presence.

Kim Jong-un's tough-guy act will one day backfire on him, and he deserves it. Hopefully it's his own people that will be his undoing. If not, it'll be us, and we'll be in for a good fight. That being said, if it came right down to it, just me and Kim Jong-un, I don't think I'd have anything to worry about.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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