The idea of living in a dorm has always been horrifying to me. Originally, right out of high school I had a planned on going to a big four-year university. I went up to orientation and had to spend the weekend in the dorms. I remember lying on the scratchy sheets, sweating like crazy, and looking up at the ceiling and realizing I cannot live like this.
The girl I had roomed with walked in and said, “I promise not to kill you…” I was instantly freaked out and did not sleep the whole night. I remember calling my parents the next day and telling them I could not do it, and I needed to live at home. Here we are three years later and I have yet to move out. Here are 29 realities about living at home in your twenties:
1. Expecting to have a home cooked meal every night, but eating a bowl of cereal 3 nights in a row.
2. Hiding a spare roll of toilet paper in your closet, since no one ever remembers to buy it.
3. Bringing home leftovers and planning on eating it the next day only to open up the white styrofoam container to absolutely nothing.
4. Hearing your mom's alarm go off and running as fast as you can to shower.
5. Racing to the living room to claim a seat on the couch before your mom decides to take a nap.
6. Fighting the urge to roll your mother off the couch half way through "Chicago Fire" when she has fallen asleep and is snoring like an angry goose.
7. You get tired of telling people you live with your parents, so you start referring to them as your roommates.
8. The slight feeling of sadness when you see how excited your parents are when your little sibling comes home from college. Like hello! You don't get that excited to see me.
9. Anytime you go to the store, your parents have to get your little sister something that she absolutely needs, but you ask for them to pick you up a gallon of milk and are told no.
10. Every week your little sister drops off loads of laundry, and you are wearing the same sweatshirt for four days in a row.
11. Leaving your iPad on the table at 100% and come home to find it at 7% because your mom "was on a roll" on Candy Crush.
12. Hearing your parents have nicer conversations with the dogs than you.
13. Now when your parents ask to borrow $20, you aren't getting it back. It's gone forever.
14. Anytime you leave your laptop around, all the opened tabs you were saving for that research paper are closed out because your father is finished looking at sports scores.
15. Constantly having to hide your hair straightener, makeup, shoes, shampoo, and conditioner from your mom who claims everything is her's.
16. Forgetting where you hid your hair straightener for 3 weeks, and come across it in your closet.
17. It's 2:00 a.m. and you are dead bolted out of the house and the dogs are going crazy as you continue to beat on the door for 23 minutes because your phone just died.
18. Listening to your mom complain about how much she hates Kanye since he is such a cocky person, every time you play "Gold-digger."
19. Throwing up a little bit in your mouth when you walk in the bathroom after your father decides to shave his beard.
20. Arguing over who makes the best version of homemade Broccoli Cheese Soup.
21. Hiding the 10 cent returners from other people in the household so you can take them back for the cash.
22 Begging your mom to please wear something other than the same Aeropostale cuffed sweatpants and Crocs.
23. Begging your dad to wear a shirt that doesn't have a gravy stain on it.
24. Having the quiz you failed last semester displayed on the fridge
25. Arguing over the phone charger.
26. Constantly complaining over who forgot to refill the ice cube tray.
27. Catching both your mom and dad wearing your fuzzy socks from Target.
28. Deciding to go out somewhere as a family and you all end up wearing the same T-shirt from when you played high school sports.
29. Being stuck with the Netflix bill every month.
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