Well, I have met a lot of people this year alone. My contact list continues to grow day to day. However, everything is different. It just isn’t the same as it was in grade school. It’s become undoubtedly more difficult, now that I am an adult, out in the “real” world, to make friends. I have to try harder and harder to put myself out there in the battlefield.
In grade school making friends was effortless. Of course, all first days of school were awkward. You met new people you had never seen before. You sat with people you had never sat next to in prior grades. And you proceeded to sit next to them everyday for the rest of the school year. Inevitably, you were bound to become friends with them at some point in the year. Now that I am older, the dynamics of making friends has completely changed.
People are more selective when it comes to making friends in adulthood. It has come to my attention that individuals are cautious as to who they associate with. Typically, people strive to make friends with those who are, if not exactly, almost as similar to them. Most of the people I have become friends with have a similar "vibe" as me. Personally, I tend to gravitate to those particular individuals that I share that special "vibe" with.
My essential issue with making friends now that I am an adult is how to initiate conversation with people. Luckily, apps like Tinder are assesible and elevate the awkwardness of initially meeting someone. You are able to chat with them and learn more about the person before you actually meet. However, when it comes to making friends with someone in “real life,” there comes many obstacles. You have to break down that barrier of being afraid to get rejected by someone. And yes, by rejected I mean from being friends with a person. You have to create common ground with the person in order to keep the conversation going. Once you do that the rest will come after.
What's most important in adulthood is to continue to be yourself regardless of who you want to become friends with. Don't change who you are to fit into a crowd. If they don't like you for the person you are and all your unique traits, they are not worth it. Become friends with people who generally enjoy you for you. Put yourself out there. Go to a club or a coffee shop. Talk someone up as you're commuting to school on the bus. Be brave and make a new friend.
