Love is a tragedy, possibly a farce. A friend of mine recently went through a bout of temporary heartache. They liked somebody and, as one often does in such a situation, proceeded to court them. In this electronically and digitally integrated first world of ours, modern romance is often insinuated through awkward moments of eye contact and a series of well-executed pseudo-pickup lines often involving some degree of alcohol consumption.

Then it immediately moves to social media. Casual Facebook messages and a sudden streak on Snapchat. You view each other’s Instagram, you swipe incessantly on Tinder in search of any meaningful, or indicating, information. If one is lucky enough to emerge from social media vetting still intrigued with their person of interest, then it is all clear from there. You cannot but help imagine the limitless possibilities with your new love; how great your relationship is going to be, what your first anniversary will be like, and, for the hopeless romantics out there, what your wedding might look like.

Reality is cold, gray, and harsh on the soul, similar to how Binghamton is for six months of the year. The allure and illusions, or delusions, of the digital realm always fade away in person. They are not into you. This is stated with the utmost candor often in an attempt for them to flee away to the bars and to the indulgent comfort of hookup culture. At least you can still be friends, but you are no fool. There shall be no friendship here. There is no friendship in the friend zone.

Countless hours of introspection and self-analysis follow. Questions regarding your wardrobe, hairstyle, drink of choice, or use of clever sound bites that you heard from John Oliver in an attempt to sound informed, intelligent, and approachable (that last one is usually the fatal blow) swarm around in your mind for days. You were too assertive online. You should not have sent that drunk snap. You should work harder on your eye contact game. Typical self-loathing.

Perhaps it was an oversight that their Instagram was a winning combination of tipsy selfies and group photos with strange men and you ignored it. Maybe you were so distracted by the idea of them, that you actually never saw the real them. This is the part where I should spout some hardcore Millennial groupthink about how we should hold ourselves to higher standards, enjoy the great friendships we already have, and how looking at pictures of cats will solve all of our problems and then we can go back to feeling good about ourselves. I refuse.

Most people find purpose in relationships and yet do not understand the purpose of relationships. I often think there is no point to relationships other than sex and distraction from the drudgery of life. However, this is sensitive territory for many people, especially those in relationships, so enough on that. I am here to advocate for the lone wolf approach to life and love, at least during youth.

What is the point of being in a relationship at this point in life? It takes time and effort with little return on investment. There is more rejection and bad feelings involved than anything else. Am I the only who finds the idea of twenty-somethings committing for the long haul absolutely ridiculous? You are closer to twenty than thirty and you decide to sacrifice a significant portion of your independence and autonomy because you are attracted to someone or you are afraid of being alone? Relationships cost money. They cost opportunities too. You want to study abroad for six months in a foreign country full of exotic people and hedonistic cultural values? You want to transfer schools so you can get into that prestigious degree program and open up a new realm of opportunities? You want to move from central New York to somewhere exciting and where there are actual opportunities? Too bad you have bae to worry about and you are not willing to sacrifice your relationship to pursue greatness. Not to mention, the vast, overwhelming majority of relationships fail and a significant portion of those fail with considerable fallout that completely destroys everything you built with that person.

There is only so much time that someone has to live their life. Sometimes it is a century, other times it is a decade or two. How do you really want to spend your time? Life should be an adventure of risk and uncertainty, not a dull collection of weekend nights cuddling on the couch and watching Netflix. Relationships, love, romance- they are all part of a marketing scheme to get us to spend more money. Flowers and chocolate on Valentine’s Day. Jewelry for anniversaries. Gifts for every federal holiday. The romantic getaways in the Poconos or Boca Raton or New Jersey.

Additionally, as cliche as it sounds, you are only young once. Youth is vital. It is the intermediary step between birth and death, the one thing that people always try to preserve and then get back once it is gone. Being in your early or mid-twenties means that you are in the best shape of your life. You have the most opportunities and the least amount of commitments. Never again will there be a time where you will be as free, independent, and absolved of significant responsibility as you are now. This is the time to be seizing any of the unusual or intriguing opportunities that apparate out of thin air.

Go hike the Appalachian Trail. Take those colored pills at Coachella. Spend that quality time with your family and friends, the people that matter and actually make a real difference in your life. Above all else, do not be afraid to be selfish and greedy. These are times of extreme competition and scarcity. Consumers and citizens alike need to conscientious and aware of the challenges they face in current economic and geopolitical climate.

This is the time to be focusing on your career, not your sex life. Chances are you probably have five figures of student debt and at least half of your paycheck is going to rent. Even worse, you might still live with your parents. You have zero credit and three hundred and forty-two dollars in your checking account. You are not even aware that you should already be investing for retirement because Social Security is probably not going to be enough when the golden years arrive.

I am a reasonable individual. I understand there is a fundamental need for human connection and social interaction. Sometimes people convince themselves that they have fallen in love too. Most of the time, people are simply looking for sex. That one is easy. Granted, you will likely have to significantly lower your standards, but it is certainly attainable. My argument here is not that we should disavow commitments or spend our lives living under a rock in absolute solitude. Most people will eventually wind up in a relationship. Eventually, they will graduate to marriage and then child rearing. After all, there is a reason why the global population is expected to reach ten billion by 2050.

I argue that all of that nonsense should be saved for further down the road. The miracles of modern technology and health care have dramatically increased life spans. Gone are the days where people have to reproduce in their teens and early twenties to ensure the survival of humanity. No longer do women have to gain economic power through heteronormative marriage. The tyrannical Judeo-Christian value system centered around the nuclear family unit that influenced public policy, mass consumption, and popular culture for decades is finally on its way out. These are times of unprecedented freedom, opportunity, and liberation. The rights and needs of the individual now supersede those of the collective.

With all of these absolute truths in mind, who needs a relationship? The answer is you do not. Someday you will be thirty or forty and the idea of taking MDMA while clubbing in Berlin no longer has appeal. Maybe then it will be time to settle down and join the rest of humanity in eternal boringness. But until then, stay single, dear readers. Stay off of Tinder too.