I've been asked time after time after time why I'm not in a relationship. It's this time of the year that it sucks the most not being with someone when there's so many relationship things that you could be doing, but can't; Halloween costumes, pumpkin picking, and just relaxing and cuddling in big snuggly blankets watching holiday movies. There's tons of reasons why I am the way that I am and here are a few reasons why.
I've lost trust for people along the way..
When someone goes behind your back whether it's in a relationship or not, it makes you question everything about how you trust people. It could be someone lying to you about where they've been, or who they've been with, or what they've done. Unfortunately, it just all adds up even if it's not from the same person and it slowly destroys your trust for all people. When it gets to that point, it's hard to let someone new in. You begin to build up a wall, and it takes someone very special, who is willing to put in a lot of effort to tear down that wall to get to you.
I've been hurt..
It could be emotional or physical, but when you've been hurt like I have, there's no going back from that. As well as trust it makes you question everyone and everything, because someone that you thought was your world could hurt you so bad. This is why I like to say to whoever is in a relationship that you can't shut out your friends, because it may get to a point where that's all that you have and you'll need them.
I'm so busy..
It's not necessarily that I don't have time for a relationship, it's just that I have too much going on right now. College is stressful and time consuming, but it would be awesome to have someone to have over after a stressful day to lay with me and play with my hair and just reassure me that I'm going to get through college someway, somehow.
I'm not wasting anymore time..
I've gotten to the point where the next person that I'm with I would like them to be the last person that I'm with. I may be young, but I don't see any point in dating someone and being with them if you don't see yourself marrying them someday, which is why when it comes to men I'm extremely peculiar and know exactly what I want. He may be right in front of me and I just haven't noticed him yet, or maybe he's still out there somewhere waiting for me.
I'm still figuring out myself..
After being in a few serious relationships, it makes you want to try and figure out what you did or what's going wrong. I'm still trying to figure myself out in this crazy world, but don't worry, I'll get there one day.
I'm happy with where I am right now and I have been for a long time. There's no rushing it. When the time and place comes, it'll happen. Do I miss being in a relationship? Yes, but I'd rather be alone than be hurting. One day I'll be able to go to family functions and introduce a really nice guy to my entire family without someone asking me, "Why aren't you dating someone yet? You're so pretty the guys must be all over you!". When that day comes and I do meet a genuinely great person that can tolerate me, treat me right, and be honest with me, I'll be sincerely grateful that I made myself wait for something so special.
