School.

Something that gives students a reason to blast a particular Alice Cooper song mid-June.

Schools are known for promoting education, the enriching of what proper social norms area glimpse of what the real world will be like, which, according to most schools, will be filled with people dressing like this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grHIyEMVhFg

Yes, the average school uniform can cost anywhere from $40-$100. That’s not even including the taxes citizens pay to keep schools afloat. If parents send their kids to schools that enforce a uniform policy, they are paying the same money that their non-children having friends spend within the first hour at the Vegas Strip. In drinks alone, no less.

It’s not all bad, though. A 2010 University of Houston study found that an elementary school girls’ language test scores increased by three percentile points. But Chris Hammons, a principal at Woodland Middle School in Idaho, had a ‘meh’ comments:

“Uniforms provide for less distraction, less drama, and more of a focus on learning.”

Mr. Hammons, come on. We know the only distractions and drama that occurs in Idaho is whatever potato cut of the day is. French Fries? Mashed Potatoes? How about ALL OF THEM?

#AllPotatoCutsMatter

In the wake of all the drama and distractions that school uniforms look to deter, there is the act of bullying and peer pressure that complements that claim. A 2013 survey by the National Association of Elementary School Principals and uniform manufacturer, Lands’ End, had findings including:

• 86% of school leaders reporting positive peer pressure
• 64% reporting a decrease in bullying
• Hairstyle options
• Nail polish
• Colorful satchels
• Scarves
• Socks.

However, that point is somewhat undercut by a 1999 Texas Southern University study reported that 12% of discipline incidents had some direct correlation to the introduction of uniforms. Fights in middle schools in Miami-Dade County increased within a year of uniform introduction. If they were using color-coded uniform policies for particular grades, we can safely assume the introduction of uniforms to schools can be seen as the movie, Outsiders. Tattered-uniforms with common wear and tear would be representative of the Greasers. Fresh unis from Land’s End would be representative of the Socs.

But, it’s still not bad, according to some people. Take for example, Amelia Jimenez, wrote an op-ed for the Pennsylvania Patriot-News website:

“Uniforms do not silence voices.”

Magazines such as Seventeen and Teen Vogue list several ways students can add personal style to their uniforms:

A 2012 peer-reviewed study found that 54% of eighth-graders said they could still express individuality whilst still wearing uniforms.

Then, the uniforms are technically NOT UNIFORMS! I don’t see any police officer, fireman, and/or nurse styling their uniforms or scrubs with stylish shit from Seventeen and Teen Vogue!

Christ, Alice Cooper must have gone to a uniform-enforced school.

And, finally…

Words With Kellyanne…