If you spent half of your childhood making IKEA furniture and the other half being jet-lagged, you're most likely a third culture kid.
Similar to my tongue-in-cheek anecdotal definition, the textbook term of a third culture kid is: "persons raised in a culture other than their parents' or the culture of the country named on their passport for a significant part of their early development years."
Like others who fit this description, I was the ball in my parents' game of intercontinental tennis. After I was born in Seoul, my family moved back and forth with them between Singapore and Korea until we settled in Saudi Arabia for my high school years. Upon graduation I moved to sunny California for college, living in Los Angeles during the school year and bouncing between Korea, Saudi Arabia and wherever trip advisor gave my parents ticket discounts.
People often ask me what it was like growing up a TCK and to this day, I have yet to find a perfect answer. Despite this being the only life I've known, I'm still perplexed as to how I feel about my globe-trotter life to the point where it makes me cross-eyed from the effort. But as with everything, every coin has two sides; the good and the bad.
THE PROS OF A TCK
1. SEEING AND APPRECIATING THE BEAUTIFUL WORLD
Moving around the world regularly entailed that I got to see and live in the phenomenal accomplishments of mankind and nature. Being able not only to see, but also live in the desert, the tropics, high tech cities, and La La Land, was eye-opening and an experience I'll never forget. Doing a 360 around the world in my 20 years of life was a remarkable adventure that I will forever cherish and be grateful for. During this time, I learned to appreciate, love, and understand the different beauties of nature, architecture, and people that each country had to offer.
2. MEETING A LOT OF UNIQUE AND DIVERSE PEOPLE
As I changed countries every three or four years and schools every two-ish years, I was able to meet hundreds of unique and talented people. Having the opportunity to connect with more diverse people helped me to learn about the different types of people, different languages and different cultures. I was able to learn something valuable from each person that I met, whether it was something as small as how to cook hotpot to something as big as what it is like to be a Muslim in the 21st century.
3. BECOMING AN OPEN MINDED AND CULTURALLY AWARE PERSON
My TCK journey has led me to live in a life of a consistent cultural experience as I was the new foreign exchange student every three years. Every three years, I learned new languages, cultures, and traditions of my new host country. The constant cycle of being culture shocked and culturally accepted has molded me into becoming more open-minded and accepting of differences.
Despite these amazing pros of being a TCK, there were quite a few cons.
THE CONS OF A TCK
1. NEVER FEELING COMPLETELY ACCEPTED ANYWHERE
I'm never able to feel entirely in place or belong anywhere. When in Korea I'm too white-washed, in America I'm too Korean, Singapore I'm too foreign, and in Saudi Arabia I'm too liberal. Because of my scattered upbringing, I've never been able to homogenize to any culture or language and consequently never feel at home in any country or community. The fact that I'll never have a community that I can fall back on or belong entirely to is sometimes tough for me to accept.
2. NOT HAVING MANY LONG TERM RELATIONSHIPS; FEELING ALONE ON THE PLANET
Although I've made a lot of acquaintances, I've realized that I have very few long-lasting relationships.
Relocating countries every three to four years led me to be distant from extended family as I didn't have many opportunities to spend time with them. Also, after moving to college in a different continent, I'm not as close to my parents as I used to be because again, distance.
Also, I found it challenging to maintain long-lasting friendships. All of this moving resulted in me transferring schools ten times in my twelve years of schooling. Not attending one school consistently or living in one country meant that I lost on the opportunity to create long-term friendships that exceeded three or four years.
3. NOT HAVING A PLACE TO CALL HOME
When people ask me where I consider my home, I don't have an answer. I feel as though a home should be a place or a community where a person completely understands the culture, language, and people. Unfortunately, this safe space does not exist in my life. The sad fact is, I don't have a home. I've lived 20 years out of a suitcase. Although I can adapt quickly and live anywhere (even in a desert) without much discomfort, I can never expel the slight tinge of unfamiliarity that I see in every place, person and culture that makes me know that I'm an outsider.
Throughout this confusion, one fact I know for sure is that I'm so utterly grateful for what I've been able to experience because I do realize that it is a privilege. Being able not just to visit, but LIVE in the deserts of Arabia, the land of Crazy Rich Asians, the country of Kdramas, and in the City of Angels has been a phenomenal experience for which I am so grateful for. I am ready and looking forward to the next step in my long journey.
